Simon Williams from Retford has been bemoaning high energy prices for people across the country who have a 20-foot ghost on their roof that is lighting up the entire street.
Olympic dressage horse, Simon Williams is standing with his metaphorical arms crossed as he stands and watches the human who was riding him take all the glory.
A man who carries around more keys than a prison guard, doesn’t have a clue what most of them do, it has emerged.
Schools at risk because of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete can open as normal now that the risks of falling ceilings has been included in the school curriculum, it has been reported.
Following Gavin Williamson’s resignation, the former minister has confirmed that he will be spending more time enjoying his favourite hobbies, all of which involve him being a bellend. Williamson said, “Now I have all this free time I can now spend more time enjoying the simple pleasures in life. “Like driving into an almost full
Simon Williams from Retford has been bemoaning spiralling energy prices for people across the country who have a 20-foot ghost on their roof that is lighting up the entire street.
The UK has been informed that, following a brief meeting bookended by two awkward bows, two multi-millionaires – neither of who has been elected into their respective offices by the public – will form a new government to run the county.
The new £50,000 coin featuring the portrait of King Charles has been revealed and will be entering general circulation within weeks, it has emerged.
It has emerged that MP Simon Williams – part of the Tory government that is actually in power – tweeted this morning that Britain under Labour is a rancid shit-hole of strikes and mass inflation.
The Home Office has confirmed that the Visa centre in Calais for fleeing Ukrainians will be fully up and running at least a week ago or two ago, it has emerged.
In a televised interview this morning, Derek and Eireen Williams have confirmed that they were both fast asleep in bed when their daughter won an Olympic medal, it has been reported.
Olympic dressage horse, Simon Williams is standing with his metaphorical arms crossed as he stands and watches the human who was riding him take all the glory.
Former Chief Negotiator, now Brexit Minister, David Frost has expressed his deep concern at the absolute state of the Brexit deal relating to Northern Ireland that was struck by Brexit Minister and former Chief negotiator David Frost.
Staunch patriotic wingnut, Simon Williams has confirmed his recent decision to relentlessly boo a fellow citizen in the street for kneeling, even though it was just for the purposes of remedying an errant lace, was fully justified.
A self-proclaimed patriot, who has the obligatory union flag Twitter handle with the meaningless statement that his views are his own, was delighted to able to watch his beloved England in person and to boo them with pure venom, it has emerged.
A report ordered by the prime minister in 2019 following accusations of Islamophobia in the Conservative party has found that there was some, kind of, but nothing to write home about, it has inevitably emerged.
Paul Burrell has been told to fuck off by absolutely everyone.
Former Chief Negotiator, now Brexit Minister, David Frost has expressed his deep concern at the absolute state of the Brexit deal relating to Northern Ireland that was struck by Brexit Minister and former Chief negotiator David Frost.
Home Secretary, Priti Patel, was believed to have lobbied a minister on behalf of a healthcare firm trying to get a government contract, until it was quickly uncovered that it was allegedly for “a friend”.
A disingenuous feline has lulled his unsuspecting owner into a false sense of security over the proposed implanting of an electronic chip in his neck ahead of new government regulations.
After questions were raised about the need for the government to consult about its proposed ban on gay conversion therapy, certain religious groups have said it is essential so they can try to protect legitimate practices, such as informing stubbornly insistent gays that they will face the wrath of Satan himself.
Simon Williams shrugged an ambivalent ‘whatever’ after the realisation that he is a mere seven days away from being able to man-hug his best friend Dave.
Britons having to show photo ID to vote in future general elections is a way of avoiding the disturbing prospect of all eligible voters voting, regardless of their socio-economic group, it has been reported.
Lawyers for convicted murderer, Derek Chauvin, have filed court documents alleging that their client was deprived of a fair trial because the jury saw a video of him killing George Floyd, therefore making an unfair presumption that he, you know, killed him.
Ahead of the Hartlepool by-election on Thursday, a local tradesman has confirmed he will vote Tory for the first time ever because of the affinity he feels towards Johnson’s struggles to balance his finances.
A deeply depraved individual has been seen eating a ‘cup-a-soup’ out of a bowl with an actual spoon, it has emerged.
Boris Johnson has insisted that he oversaw the design plans and full installation of his official sex dungeon, it has been reported.
Education Secretary, Gavin Williamson has chided the nation’s youth for poor discipline during lockdown, himself being a beacon of propriety and exemplary conduct, or not so much, as former Prime Minister, Theresa May can attest.
After reports that ISIS bride-slash-reality television hate figure, Shamima Begum, was granted the right to return to the UK to fight the revocation of her British citizenship, firefighters were called to reports of spontaneous human combustions of numerous red-faced gammons at the Daily Mail offices in London.
Leading authority on idiocy, Nadine Dorries, has called out the Leader of the Labour Party as a cold-blooded puppy murderer, it has been reported.
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