PoliticsUKI now have more time to spend on my hobbies like leaving my car just over the white line of a parking space, confirms Gavin Williamson
EnvironmentUK‘Energy prices are simply unaffordable’, insists man with house covered in glowing Halloween lights
BrexitPoliticsUKThe Northern Ireland Protocol negotiated by David Frost was clearly a load of bollocks, insists David Frost
PoliticsUKNew world record for ‘largest understatement’ as report finds Boris’ burkha comments ‘gave impression of insensitivity’
BrexitPoliticsUKThe Northern Ireland Protocol negotiated by David Frost was obviously a load of bollocks, insists David Frost
PoliticsUKNation satisfied Priti Patel did not help a friend secure PPE contract because no one believes she has friends
SocietyTechnologyUKOf course you can inject a microchip into my neck, insists cat just waiting for perfect opportunity to strike
PoliticsSocietyUKCan we at least say ‘..or you’ll burn in hell?’ enquire religious nutjobs opposed to ban on gay conversion therapy
World‘Jury was unfairly prejudiced by seeing video of our client murdering George Floyd’, insist Derek Chauvin’s lawyers
PoliticsUKHartlepool tradesman ‘really identifies’ with Boris Johnson’s struggle to live on £150k a year
PoliticsUK‘Children lacked discipline during lockdown’ says man sacked from the government for lack of discipline
PoliticsSocietyUKDaily Mail ‘journalist’ spontaneously combusts as Shamima Begum is granted right to return to the UK
BusinessSocietyUK‘I don’t need Wetherspoons to reopen’ says man with a barrel of warm piss in his shed
HealthPoliticsUKBoris Johnson to thank NHS for saving his life by promising nurses a below-inflation pay rise
BusinessEntertainmentUKMail online pays heartfelt tribute to Caroline Flack with pictures of her ‘£3,000 a-month apartment’
