UK

Morrissey furious after The Simpsons portrays him as capable of being someone’s friend

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Morrissey, a pasty racist famous for milking his few years as a vocalist for legendary songwriter Johnny Marr, has roundly condemned the hit animation show The Simpsons after an episode satirised him as able to have some vague concern for another human being.

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Employer grudgingly flicks through overly-keen candidate’s National Record of Achievement

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Employer grudgingly flicks through overly-keen candidate’s National Record of Achievement

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Arsenal already relegated from new European Super League

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Arsenal have already been relegated from the European Super League because they are Arsenal.

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Man still hasn’t got a fucking clue what’s going on in Line of Duty

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A man still has not got a fucking clue today what is going on in Line of Duty it is revealed.

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Roy Keane and Gary Neville change into Batman and Robin outfits to fight evil European Super League

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Roy Keane and Gary Neville are to unite against the forces of soccer evil.

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Alarm raised as entire UK finds itself agreeing with Gary Neville

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The whole UK has been placed at Shock Level 2 after citizens found themselves agreeing with Sky Sports gobshite Gary Neville.

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Sacked Jose Mourinho applies for vacant Duke of Edinburgh position

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Jose Mourinho has been sacked as manager of Tottenham Hotspur and has wasted no time in applying for a new job.

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Queen and other top monarchs to break away and form European Super Royal Family

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Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she’s leaving the Windsors to form a European Super Royal Family with elite monarchs from other European countries.

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Football fans outraged at plans for European Super League of Europe’s top clubs (and Spurs)

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Football fans across the country have reacted in shock and disbelief today at the news that Tottenham Hotspur has been described as a ‘big 6 club’ in Europe.

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European Super League is just a cynical money grab to exploit fans, says man happy to pay £95 for a nylon t-shirt

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Simon Williams, a man who spends £3,000 a year to follow a team that he has imagined a connection to, has taken to social media to lament the creation of a new European Super League and to wonder if the soulless corporations running football are “taking us for mugs”.

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