UK

Britain successfully leaves EU with a deal and six weeks to spare, according to Boris

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Britain has left the EU and everything is now fine, according to Boris Johnson this afternoon.

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Queen “thoroughly f*cked off” confirms Palace

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David Cameron has annoyed the Queen with his loose lips once again.

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Media confirms the parents of sick children must announce their political affiliations before anyone listens to their concerns

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The media has spoken out regarding the incident involving Boris Johnson’s denial of reality in a London hospital yesterday, insisting that the concerned parents of sick children should only be allowed to address the prime minister once we know their voting history.

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Boris Johnson to tour country in big red bus with ‘There’s no press here’ on the side

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The Prime Minister has realised that blatant lies only really work when written on the side of a large red vehicle.

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Bank of Mum and Dad to seek government bailout after paying for summer holidays and new school uniforms

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Britains biggest lender, the Bank of Mum and Dad, is understood to be under ‘severe pressure’ after funding both summer holidays and new school uniforms in the last few weeks.

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Satire site receives one millionth “I thought this was supposed to be satire” comment on Facebook

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An online satire site has today received its one-millionth comment along the lines of ‘this is not satire’, after it was posted on the site’s Facebook page.

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President of Supreme Court did A-Level French and so is clearly biased, says appalled Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has discovered that all the judges of the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom are disgusting deviants who love foreign ways.

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Woman who turned TV volume down during loud bit now can’t hear what people are saying

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A woman who turned down the volume on the TV during what she described as an ‘unnecessarily loud bit’ is now unable to hear a conversation between two of the characters, according to reports today.

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I’ll be whatever you want me to be, teases a flirtatious Jeremy Corbyn

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Jeremy Corbyn has once again proved a delightfully alluring little creature when he responded to a direct question, over what side he would support in a second Brexit referendum, by lasciviously saying he’ll let you decide before reclining on a couch and biting his lower lip.

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Luxembourg PM says that if you come to his gaff and give it lip then you’re going to get a slapping

Thumbnail image for Luxembourg PM says that if you come to his gaff and give it lip then you’re going to get a slapping

Xavier Bettel, Prime Minister of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg and a lad who can handle himself, told journalists that his treatment of Boris Johnson might seem a bit OTT but you should only come east of the Alzette if you’re proper tasty and not a gobby muppet.

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