UK

Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal just Theresa May’s three rejected deals standing on each other’s shoulders wearing a trench coat

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The Prime Minister’s fancy new Brexit deal is actually just Theresa May’s old ones wearing a cunning disguise.

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London commuters delighted to take out permanent bad mood on some protesters

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London’s commuters were finally given the chance to exorcise their permanent states of despair and annoyance today.

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Boris Johnson hails great new Brexit deal that will see UK ‘stay in the EU’

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Boris Johnson has claimed his ‘great new deal’ to leave the EU will see the UK retain all of the benefits of being in the EU, though ‘some concessions’ have been made in terms of contributing to the EU budget, free movement of people and abiding by EU regulations.

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UK proposes time-travelling Irish border that makes customs checks in the past

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The UK has proposed a bold new initiative to solve the Northern Ireland problem that has bedevilled negotiators throughout the Brexit process.

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Government struggling to get support of those MPs it told to ‘get f*cked’ five weeks ago

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The government’s plans for a Brexit deal could be in trouble after the MPs it told to ‘get f*cked’ five weeks ago have shown reluctance to support the government’s position.

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Office tosspot declares that some sandwiches are manlier than others

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A pleasant lunch break was once again ruined today when Dale Tinnock, a talking pustule and recruitment consultant from Colchester, decided to rank everybody’s lunch on an imaginary scale of virility where his choice of egg and ham held pride of place.

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Anti-democratic Tories continue attempts to overthrow results of 2017 election

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Boris Johnson and his anti-democratic Tory junta have continued their attempts to undermine and overthrow the results of the General election in 2017.

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Piers Morgan ordered to respect the will of the people and leave his job

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Leave means leave, Piers Morgan has been told today.

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Voter ID scheme part of a Tory portfolio of expensive solutions to problems that don’t exist

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The Conservatives have been coming up with ideas and God help us all.

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Thomas Cook boss unable to pay back £500,000 bonus as he’s already spent it all on a week in Majorca during school holidays

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The boss of Thomas Cook can’t pay back his £500,000 bonus, as requested by MPs, as he’s used all of it to take his family to a 3-star hotel in Majorca during half-term.

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