UK

“It gets easier”, Johnson assures Hancock

Thumbnail image for “It gets easier”, Johnson assures Hancock

Boris Johnson has lent a supportive ear to Matt Hancock following news of the Health Secretary’s first extra-marital affair (that we know of).

Read the full article →

Entire nation has little bit of sick in mouth

Thumbnail image for Entire nation has little bit of sick in mouth

The entire nation currently has a little bit of sick in its mouth after waking to find pictures of Matt Hancock in a passionate embrace with what appears to be an actual woman.

Read the full article →

Hancockery, the mystery cad – by TS Eliot

Thumbnail image for Hancockery, the mystery cad – by TS Eliot

Hancockery’s the Health Secret’ry, he’s called the hopeless twat

Read the full article →

Government takes huge step in proving it is not beholden to wealthy donors by adding Cayman Islands to travel green list

Thumbnail image for Government takes huge step in proving it is not beholden to wealthy donors by adding Cayman Islands to travel green list

The government has taken a huge step in ending speculation that they will bend over backwards for their wealthy donors by adding the Cayman Islands to a list of places to which you are now allowed to travel.

Read the full article →

“I was just trying to flatten her curves” insists Matt Hancock

Thumbnail image for “I was just trying to flatten her curves” insists Matt Hancock

The Health Secretary claims that he was squeezing his aide’s buttocks only in order to flatten her curves.

Read the full article →

Matt Hancock tipped for Tory leadership after photos emerge of him having an affair

Thumbnail image for Matt Hancock tipped for Tory leadership after photos emerge of him having an affair

Bookies have today shortened the odds of Matt Hancock stepping us as Conservative Party leader after photos were published of him wearing someone who isn’t his wife as a facemask.

Read the full article →

Proud and patriotic Brexit supporters excited by new opportunity to pay more for their mobile bills

Thumbnail image for Proud and patriotic Brexit supporters excited by new opportunity to pay more for their mobile bills

Proud Brexit supporters are today hailing the opportunity to pay more for their mobile bills when using them abroad, after years of meddling eurocrats needlessly securing them cheaper mobile rates throughout the EU.

Read the full article →

Travel firms desperate to learn to which countries they can drastically increase the cost of holidays

Thumbnail image for Travel firms desperate to learn to which countries they can drastically increase the cost of holidays

Travel companies are desperately waiting for news today of the countries to which they can drastically increase the price for a holiday the very instant that they are placed on the green list for travel.

Read the full article →

“Two World Wars and one World Cup” chirps man who didn’t want politics in football

Thumbnail image for “Two World Wars and one World Cup” chirps man who didn’t want politics in football

A man who previously claimed he didn’t want politics in football is busting out the war metaphors again.

Read the full article →

‘D-Day’ instead of ‘kick-off’: The Brexiter’s guide to England vs Germany

Thumbnail image for ‘D-Day’ instead of ‘kick-off’: The Brexiter’s guide to England vs Germany

England’s next opponents in Euro 2020 provide the perfect excuse to wheel out some lovely comforting WWII terminology.

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries