UK

Yes, we managed to put man on the moon by ignoring all the experts and hoping for the best, confirm NASA

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After Boris Johnson today cited the moon landings as inspiration for Brexit to succeed, NASA has confirmed that they also only succeeded in their mission by ignoring all the experts and hoping for the best.

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Local man decries discriminatory Wetherspoons after being told to ‘Go Back Home’ at 1am

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Burnley resident Simon Williams was left shocked at being told to ‘go back home’ at his local pub merely because it was 1 hour and 15 minutes after last orders.

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Man sent into furious tailspin by Extinction Rebellion adamant he will cope fine with No Deal Brexit

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A red-faced man who has been apoplectic since his commute was slightly lengthened due to the actions of Extinction Rebellion sees no contradiction with his claims that he could shrug off any minor hardships brought about by a No Deal exit from the EU.

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Man saying ‘can I get…’ in WH Smiths probably a charismatic New York wiseguy

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The man ahead of you in the queue at WH Smiths saying ‘can I get’ must be some sort of charismatic New York wiseguy.

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Food bank users just need ‘will and spirit’ to feed their families, insists Boris Johnson

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Boris Johnson has found the solution to all the major socio-economic problems facing the UK – ‘will and spirit’.

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Elderly couple’s garage contains every single tin of paint they’ve ever bought

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The garage of a retired couple has been completely filled up with hundreds of half-empty paint cans.

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Furious Labour supporters slam 1987 edition of Top of the Pops for ‘anti-Corbyn bias’

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Supporters of Labour have launched a furious attack on the BBC for a 1987 episode of Top of the Pops which, they say, displayed a clear anti-Corbyn bias.

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FaceApp preparing citizens for their appearance in event of no-deal Brexit

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A photo app that shows users what they’ll look like when they’re frail and haggard is actually designed to prepare British people for the hardships of no deal.

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Randy haunted haystack still somehow hurtling towards Downing Street

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Boris Johnson is still on course to become the next Prime Minister, for some unfathomable reason.

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Brexiters left furious as parliamentary sovereignty stops parliament getting its sovereignty back

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Brexiters across the nation are furious this afternoon after learning that the sovereignty of parliament could be used to prevent the country from getting back the sovereignty it so desperately needs.

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