UK

Tabloids take break from deciding which celeb to take down this week to write sympathetically on Caroline Flack ‘tragedy’

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Tabloid reporters are this evening taking a break from writing their numerous hit-pieces on celebrities across the entertainment industry, to write sympathetic pieces on the tragic death of Caroline Flack.

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Do YOU have what it takes to be the new Chancellor? Take our interactive test to find out!

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As Rishi Sunak becomes Boris Johnson’s second Chancellor of the Exchequer in just six months, we ask, could YOU be the Chancellor?

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Parents fear that teenage daughter might give in to peer pressure and try veganism

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Parents of a twelve-year-old girl have expressed concern that her vegan friends may be leading her wildly off the rails, according to reports this morning.

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Markets stabilise as Boris assures Cabinet continuity of craven pandering and f*cktarded incompetence

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The pound rose along with FTSE 100 shares as Boris Johnson sent a clear message that his dramatic reshuffle would not alter his government’s course of mishandling doomed vainglorious projects while periodically throwing red meat to racists and xenophobes.

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Men in relationships heading to Clinton Cards at lunchtime

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In case anyone was wondering, all men in romantic relationships can be found in their newest branch of Clintons at lunchtime, it has emerged.

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Boris greets new cabinet with a cheery ‘Hail Hydra’

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson this morning welcomed his new cabinet to a meeting with a cheery cry of ‘Hail Hydra’.

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Tory MP decides to ‘do the right thing’ after government policy affects him personally

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Sajid Javid has resigned from the cabinet on principle, explaining he had no option but to ‘do the right thing’ after discovering a harmful policy that affected him personally.

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Boris Johnson unveils new look cabinet

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Boris Johnson has introduced ‘a cabinet of all the talents’ in his first reshuffle as Prime Minister.

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Sajid Javid packing up his office while serenaded by the world’s smallest violin

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Sajid Javid is currently packing up his office at 11 Downing Street, serenaded by the world’s smallest violin.

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Government to push for ‘Narnia plus’ Brexit deal

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson has rejected accusations that an Australian-style Brexit agreement would merely be ‘no deal’ by another name, by insisting he is in favour of a ‘Narnia plus’ arrangement.

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