New £50,000 coin with King’s head unveiled

author avatar by 2 months ago

The new £50,000 coin featuring the portrait of King Charles has been revealed and will be entering general circulation within weeks, it has emerged.

King Charles personally approved the design, and was pleased with the likeness, although he did query why the number appears to be quite a lot bigger than when he was first shown the mock-up just a couple of weeks ago. 

Royal Mint spokesperson, Simone Williams said, “We explained to His Royal Highness that, whereas a week ago, it was indeed intended to be a 50p coin, the new government had decided to model its economic growth on Zimbabwe in the early noughties.

“King Charles initially expressed concern until we reassured him that the increase in zeroes would not interfere with his profile.

“We can also confirm that the coin will be available for general use well before the end of the year: Obviously it might have a few more zeroes added to it by then. 

“The coins will be followed by the rollout of a new design of currency notes. The £1 million pound note to start with.

“We even hope to launch a gazillion pound note in circulation by 2025. But that will depend on whether we remain on our current trajectory.

“If the country descends into a dystopian nightmare where we revert to a barter system and where citizens exchange body parts for food and basic provisions, then this new money will become an irrelevance. 

“But economic forecasters do not envisage that eventuality – it remains a mere pipe dream,” sighed Williams.

“You know, like the sweet release of death.”