The success of the mass vaccination program against COVID 19 has left many people in England hopeful that this summer they will be able to jet off to exotic locales and then expect every facet of life to be a carbon copy of what they left in Surrey.
Rich crop of bags of dogshit tells Britain spring is finally here
Spring has truly sprung across Britain and the sunshine has brought forth a rich crop of bags of dogshit in the nations’ trees and verges.
US police to be issued mandatory pictures of guns, in order to check what they are actually holding
Police officers in the US are to be provided with mandatory pictures of handguns to keep in their vehicles to enable them to double check what they are actually holding in their hand at any given time.
The Conservatives are apparently baffled by allegations of corruption, given they assumed the electorate was fully aware of what they were like.
The next instalment of the HBO crime anthology series is said to move away from highly charismatic sleuths fighting sinister crime syndicates and instead showcase the daily lives of skittish racists whose incompetence routinely turn simple traffic stops into a bloodbath.
- Boots ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets to be ready for Christmas
- Prince Andrew furious after being told he can’t take a date to his Dad’s funeral
- Girlfriend cold, reports indicate
- Man seriously considers thinking about washing his face mask
- William and Harry unite to pay tribute to Prince Philip, before bare-knuckle ‘straightener’ in palace gardens
- David Cameron seen flogging access to ministers out of a suitcase down the market
- Nation full of men with new haircuts and blinding hangovers
- Man excited, motivated and finally ready to return to the gym, but not on a Monday though, obviously
Also in the News
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Montagues and Capulets resume ancient feud as restrictions on two households mingling lifted.
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Chaos on nation’s roads after traffic lights are painted black to mark Prince Philip’s passing
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