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Emma Raducanu dedicates US Open win to “all the creepy middle-aged man-children out there”

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18-year-old tennis prodigy, Emma Raducanu, the first qualifier to ever win a Grand Slam and the most successful female British player in almost fifty years, has taken the time after her historic win to give thanks to all the slimey former GMB presenters who feel the need to comment on her every move.

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Royal rift as Queen celebrates victory of teenage girl in a US court

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Prince Andrew and the Queen have fallen out over last night’s tennis result.

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Bloody migrants, coming over here, getting good at tennis

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Those bloody migrants are at it again, coming over here getting good at tennis and winning the US Open for Great Britain.

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Scottish monopoly on decent British tennis players finally comes to an end

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The decade-long Scottish dominance of decent standard British tennis players has finally come to an end after an English player got to the final of a competition that actually means something.

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Emma Raducanu dedicates latest win to “all the creepy middle-aged man-children out there”

Thumbnail image for Emma Raducanu dedicates latest win to “all the creepy middle-aged man-children out there”

18-year-old tennis prodigy, Emma Raducanu, who is one victory away from becoming the most successful female British player in almost fifty years, has taken the time after her latest win to give thanks to all the slimey former GMB presenters who feel the need to comment on her every move.

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Gavin Williamson praises Marcus Rashford for his role in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Marcus Rashford has been praised by Education Secretary Gavin Williamson today after watching his harrowing performance in the documentary series, ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’.

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Majority of Paralympians ‘fit enough for work’, claims Work and Pensions Secretary

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Workshy Paralympians face cuts to their disability benefits under tight new proposals from Work and Pensions Secretary, Therese Coffey.

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Fifa to investigate racial abuse by international fans before doing f*ck all about it (again)

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Fifa is to investigate racial abuse suffered by a number of England’s black players during their World Cup qualifying match in Hungary last night, before doing absolutely fuck all about it again.

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Arsenal ask if they can submit goals from 1995-96 season for August Premier League goal of the month

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Arsenal have requested to submit a selection of goals from their 1995-96 season for this year’s August Premier League goal of the month.

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Harry Kane to stay at Spurs after discovering he is allergic to silver

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Harry Kane is staying at Spurs in order to avoid contact with trophies.

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