Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Fantasy football fans ready and excited to watch every one of their players suddenly become absolutely shit

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Fantasy football players all over the UK are ready, set and excited to start up their season again today, and to watch every one of the players they picked suddenly play like absolute shite.

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Only professional footballer in world not linked with summer move to Bielsa’s Leeds United sacks agent in disgust

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With the news that even Lionel Messi has been linked with a move to newly-promoted English Premiership side Leeds United, there is now officially only one professional player left in the world not to have been linked with the “slumbering giants”, and he’s not happy about it.

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‘If Man Utd couldn’t make him part of a credible defence, what chance did we have?’ ask Harry Maguire’s lawyers

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Harry Maguire’s legal team have bemoaned the Manchester United captain’s inability to put in a solid defensive performance after he was convicted of three convictions in a Greek court.

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Neymar brutally murdered six times during Champions League final

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Brazilian superstar Neymar suffered a number of murders during the Champions League Final last night.

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Washington NFL team changes name to ‘American Capital City Ball-Throwing Persons’

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After a long controversy surrounding the use of the name ‘redskins’, Washington DC’s NFL side has changed their name to the perfectly accurate and offensive-to-no-one ‘American Capital City Ball-Throwing Persons’.

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Cancelled school sports day forces Dad to humiliate himself in other ways

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A man is having to find alternative ways in which to become a laughing stock after his son’s school sports day was cancelled due to coronavirus.

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Bernie Ecclestone demands Formula One removes black squares from chequered flag

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Former Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone has demanded that black squares should be removed from the traditional Formula One chequered flag, insisting it just plays into the hands of black racists. 89-year-old Ecclestone got into trouble this week after claiming that ‘black people are more racist than white people’, but went on to insist the […]

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‘I knew this was going to be our year’ confirms Liverpool fan who’s been saying precisely that for last 30 years

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A local Liverpool FC fan and self-proclaimed “reader of the game”, Barry Harnwell, has confirmed to the world today that he actually knew Liverpool would win the league even before the season started, a prediction he’s been making for the last 30 years.

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Blackburn and Leicester fans gutted that Liverpool have matched their number of Premier League titles

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Both Blackburn Rovers and Leicester City fans are said to be very disappointed that Liverpool have finally caught up with their number of Premier League titles: a single, solitary one.

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Everyone expecting Liverpool supporters to be magnanimous in victory

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Liverpool FC fans are expected to be magnanimous when finally tying up the Premier League title either tonight or possibly in the next game.

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