Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

“Two World Wars and one World Cup” chirps man who didn’t want politics in football

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A man who previously claimed he didn’t want politics in football is busting out the war metaphors again.

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‘D-Day’ instead of ‘kick-off’: The Brexiter’s guide to England vs Germany

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England’s next opponents in Euro 2020 provide the perfect excuse to wheel out some lovely comforting WWII terminology.

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‘We can’t relax the travel rules’ insists government, ‘unless you are a VIP visiting Wembley’

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The government has insisted today that it is unable to relax its rules on travel and quarantine for visitors to the UK, unless you are a really rich VIP visiting Wembley Stadium for a football match, obviously.

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Scottish FA demands UEFA change Euros format so top four from each group qualify for knockout stage

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The Scottish FA has today called for UEFA to revise the European Championships so that the top four from each group qualify for the knockout stages.

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Billy Gilmour dons fake moustache and drives Croatia team bus

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After testing positive for Covid-19, Billy Gilmour’s new job is to come into contact with the entire Croatia team.

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Harry Kane forced to self-isolate after watching Braveheart without a mask

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England captain Harry Kane has been forced to self-isolate for 10 days it is revealed today, after watching Braveheart without wearing a mask.

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Nicola Sturgeon insists Billy Gilmour will miss Scotland tie due to ‘catching Covid from some bloody Manc’

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Scotland hero Billy Gilmour is set to miss tomorrow’s crucial Euro 2020 group match against Croatia after testing positive for Covid, caught from a Manc probably, according to Nicola Sturgeon.

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Swashbuckling England strike fear into the hearts of all European teams by averaging one shot on target per hour

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England’s campaign at the European Championships continues to go from strength to strength with yet another swashbuckling performance full of attacking intent striking fear into the hearts of potential future opponents.

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Uri Geller to use psychic powers to do something in the Euros which he will reveal after it happens

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Uri Geller has revealed that he is going to use his amazing psychic powers once again today, to make something dramatic happen in the Euro’s, that he will tell us just after it has happened, or maybe the next day.

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England to secure victory against Scotland by boring them to sleep

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Gareth Southgate has announced that England’s game plan against Scotland tonight is to bore them to death, according to reports this morning.

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