Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Bunch of greedy bastards vow to take ‘whatever action necessary’ to stop other bunch of greedy bastards

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A big bunch of greedy bastards who only look after themselves have vowed today to do whatever it takes to stop a big bunch of greedy bastards who only want to look after themselves.

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Julian Nagelsmann sacked by Spurs just days before being given manager’s job

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Tottenham Hotspur have already sacked new manager Julian Nagelsmann for underachieving just days before giving him the manager’s job.

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Arsenal already relegated from new European Super League

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Arsenal have already been relegated from the European Super League because they are Arsenal.

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Roy Keane and Gary Neville change into Batman and Robin outfits to fight evil European Super League

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Roy Keane and Gary Neville are to unite against the forces of soccer evil.

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Alarm raised as entire UK finds itself agreeing with Gary Neville

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The whole UK has been placed at Shock Level 2 after citizens found themselves agreeing with Sky Sports gobshite Gary Neville.

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Sacked Jose Mourinho applies for vacant Duke of Edinburgh position

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Jose Mourinho has been sacked as manager of Tottenham Hotspur and has wasted no time in applying for a new job.

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Football fans outraged at plans for European Super League of Europe’s top clubs (and Spurs)

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Football fans across the country have reacted in shock and disbelief today at the news that Tottenham Hotspur has been described as a ‘big 6 club’ in Europe.

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European Super League is just a cynical money grab to exploit fans, says man happy to pay £95 for a nylon t-shirt

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Simon Williams, a man who spends £3,000 a year to follow a team that he has imagined a connection to, has taken to social media to lament the creation of a new European Super League and to wonder if the soulless corporations running football are “taking us for mugs”.

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Thank f*ck I’m not Keir Starmer, insists Jürgen Klopp

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Out of favour Liverpool FC boss, Jürgen Klopp, is thanking fuck he is not the leader of the Labour Party in this moment.

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Chancellor to unveil £200m fund for Fifa bribes as World Cup 2030 bid announced

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Chancellor Rishi Sunak is set to unveil an extra £200m in funds in order to bribe corrupt Fifa officials tomorrow as the government launches its bid to host the 2030 World Cup.

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