North Korean media has reported that their leader Kim Jong Un rode missing, inevitably long-dead racehorse Shergar to victory in the 1:30 at Cheltenham today.
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Saturday’s Match of the Day will be hosted by Gary Lineker once again, after it was agreed the show’s highlights would not feature any footballers that could be considered ‘of the left’.
The government has called an urgent COBRA meeting today, to see what other shit they can push through parliament whilst everyone talks about Gary Lineker.
Controversial Tory MP 30p Lee Anderson is to present BBC Match of the Day until an agreement is reached with regular host Gary Lineker over his use of social media.
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