Entertainment

Tories reminded that they don’t live in a Carry On film

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All Tory Party ministers are to be sent a letter laying out in no uncertain terms that they are not living in a Carry On film.

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Man who believed he could fly, now just believes he could die – in prison

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A man who once sang that he believed he could fly, now actually believes he could die, in a prison cell at some point in the next thirty years. 

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‘It isn’t a swastika, it’s just six lines rearranged that happen to look like one’ – the ultimate guide to defending your use of Nazi imagery, by Laurence Fox

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Laurence Fox was temporarily locked out of his Twitter account for creating a Swastika out of the lines used in four pride flags, and below we give you the only guide you need to defend the subtle introduction of Nazi imagery into our everyday lives.

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Man publicly boycotts film he never had any intention of watching

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A man is today publicly boycotting the new Lightyear movie, despite having never seen any of the Toy Story movies upon which the film is based.

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Jerry Hall to divorce Rupert Murdoch after medical reveals devastating news that the 91-year-old billionaire is perfectly fit and well

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Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch are to divorce, just six years after their surprise marriage, following the devastating news that Rupert Murdoch remains fit and well at the age of 91.

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Man who regularly comments ‘Go woke go broke’ seemingly unaware he’s a penniless bigot

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Following the middling box office performance of Disney film ‘Lightyear’, which features a same-sex kiss, Simon Williams was quick to take to social media commenting “Go Woke go broke” without noticing that he hasn’t been rewarded financially for his life as a bigot.

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Study finds quickest way to move from excitement to disappointment is noticing the words ‘DJ Set’

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A new study has revealed that the quickest way for a human to move from a state of excitement to a state of disappointment is noticing the words ‘DJ Set’ on a poster or flyer. “We showed subjects a fairly busy poster for an imaginary festival,” explained Simon Williams, Professor of Made-Up things at Oxford […]

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Celebrity who claimed to be ‘cancelled’ actually just boring, talentless hack

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A celebrity who recently opened their hearts about how they have found themselves ‘cancelled’ has been revealed to be a boring, talentless hack.

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Everything you need to know about the latest season of Love Island

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Below you will found out all the essential information that you, the discerning individual that you are, need to know about the new series of Love Island on ITV.

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‘Utterly Devastated. They CAN’T stop making Neighbours’ says man who hasn’t watched show since 1992

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A man is utterly devastated today after finding out that Neighbours has finally come to an end, having last watched the show in 1992.  Simon Williams, who insists that the show must be saved, revealed his devastation earlier after seeing on the news that the final episode had been filmed of the popular Australian soap […]

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