Entertainment

Disgraced conman and ex-lawyer to head up new HBO series, ‘Better Call Rudy’

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Disgraced ex-lawyer Rudy Giuliani will dispense legal advice to criminals from the back of a beat-up old car in HBO’s forthcoming series ‘Better call Rudy’.

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‘We’ll still get Naked Attraction though right?’ ask perverted weirdos as Channel 4 future thrown into doubt

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Weirdo fans of bafflingly popular ‘dating’ show Naked Attraction have reacted with concern today at news of the possible privatisation of Channel 4, causing real worry that their favourite oddball perv fest might actually come to an end.

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Not a load of cobblers – Love Island contestants slammed for lack of practical cobbling experience

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They’re sexy, great fun and they look fantastic in their swimsuits, but this year’s Love Island contestants have come in for criticism from cobblers across the country for a disappointing lack of shoe-repair and cobbling knowledge.

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Thorpe Park on verge of becoming nation’s first ‘Arsehole-Free’ tourist attraction

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As mask-opposing twats continue to call for a boycott of Thorpe Park due to their policy of making mask-exempt visitors sit in a different part of their rides, experts say it could become the nation’s first twat-free attraction.

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Britney Spears father agrees one off increase in stars monthly allowance, after spotting nice new Ferrari for father’s day

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Britney Spears father has agreed to a one-off, very substantial increase in his daughter’s monthly allowance it is revealed today, after spotting a very nice new red Ferrari for father’s day.

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Uri Geller to use psychic powers to do something in the Euros which he will reveal after it happens

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Uri Geller has revealed that he is going to use his amazing psychic powers once again today, to make something dramatic happen in the Euro’s, that he will tell us just after it has happened, or maybe the next day.

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Man can’t wait to get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone, watching them later

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A man has revealed that he is really looking forward to the live scene starting up again so he can get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone and then watching them again later when he gets home and goes to bed.

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“Free speech means companies must be forced to give money to TV channels I like” insists moron

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GB News fan and borderline simpleton, Derek Williams, is today insisting that free speech means that free-market commercial enterprises must be forced to give money to his favourite television channels.

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Backlash against trickster trolls as GB News hosts read a moving support letter from Howfu Kingstupidareyou

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The seasoned reporters from Britain’s controversial new entertainment channel, GB News, have found some comfort in large public support, after clever jokers tricked them into reading rude fake names, as evidenced by supportive tweets from ordinary viewers such as Ima Fatracistcuntwhosmells.

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On this day in History: King John signs Magna Carta, freeing all from the burden of wearing a mask in Greggs

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On this day in 1215, King John was forced by the Barons to forever enshrine into English law the provision that you should not have to wear a mask in Greggs.

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