Entertainment

Boris Johnson to conduct next live briefing via medium of sea shanty

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Boris Johnson is planning to take advantage of the nation’s sudden fondness for sea shanties by singing his way through the next televised briefing to the nation.

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Mike Read ends ban on Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s ‘Relax’

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80s DJ and hair pioneer Mike Read has today announced that he is formally ending his ban on Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s sex disco classic ‘Relax’.

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Guest Opinion: Now is the time to heal and grow together, and not politicise the destruction of Alderaan

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There has been a lot of anger in recent days over the so-called ‘destruction’ of Alderaan, but now is the time to put aside our differences and move on, says the Grand Moff Tarkin.

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It wasn’t me, it was Antifa, claims Shaggy

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Despite being caught red-handed and on-camera banging on the counter, the sofa and in the shower, Shaggy has accused Antifa of cheating on his girlfriend.

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New edition of Warhammer to be set in Washington DC

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The next edition of Games Workshop’s game of terrifying, chaotic despair and sudden violence will be set in Washington DC just after one of the President’s speeches, the company has confirmed.

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Hollywood celebrities wondering which John Lennon song to butcher this time

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Gal Gadot and her celebrity friends are currently looking to record a follow-up to their viral ‘hit’ cover of ‘Imagine’, it has emerged.

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Schools declared safe by famed virologist and all-round brainbox, Kirstie Allsopp

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Everything is going to be OK because Kirstie Allsopp has said so.

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Government unveils new guidelines to help people avoid being exposed to Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’

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An outbreak of Whamaggedon has resulted in additional measures being put in place to help members of the public avoid exposure to George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, the government has announced this morning.

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Donald Trump calls for Home Alone 2 be renamed ‘The Donald Trump Christmas Extravaganza’

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Soon to be unemployed dystopian US President Donald Trump has called for Home Alone 2 be renamed The Donald Trump Christmas Extravaganza.

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2020 delivers yet another horrific blow as Mrs Brown’s Boys recommissioned until 2026

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The year 2020 is completely taking the piss now, with the shocking news emerging that long-running ‘comedy’ Mrs Browns Boys is set to continue on our screens for at least another six years.

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