Entertainment

Jeremy Renner to play Tommy Robinson in “No Country for Brown Men”

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Tommy Robinson’s ‘thugs to riches’ story is getting the Hollywood treatment.

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Britain once again crowned champion at grinning through a humiliating Eurovision defeat

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For the fourth time in Eurovision’s history, the UK has shown that it is still the very best in the world at smiling awkwardly while presenters loudly announce that 42 judges have declared it utterly shit at singing.

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Game of Thrones shocks fans with ‘it was all a dream’ soap opera ending

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The critically acclaimed TV series Game of Thrones, a tale of dragons, swords and politics has upset fans by ending the show with original character Ned Stark “waking up” in the shower in 1980s America.

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Man outraged by Robert Pattinson as Batman has never actually seen any of his films

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A man who thinks Robert Pattinson would make a terrible Batman is basing his opinion on a film he didn’t see ten years ago, he has revealed.

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Dragon attack on Kings Landing was a ‘false flag’, claims Winterfell conspiracy theorist

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Winterfell conspiracy theorist Sinom Wilyems has published a pamphlet claiming the recent dragon attacks on Kings Landing were a ‘false flag’ orchestrated by the Lannisters.

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Game of Thrones fans left shocked as Daenerys kills almost as many innocent people as Tony Blair

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Game of Throne fans have been left shocked and saddened after Daenerys Stormborn used her superior military equipment to kill almost as many people as Tony Blair did in Iraq.

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Alabama outlaws abortion in cases of incest because that’s about half their population

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Almost half the population of Alabama could be affected if abortion in cases of inbreeding was legalised, reports have confirmed today.

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Judge Rinder laughing his tits off

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Judge Rinder has been laughing for a solid three hours now.

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Jeremy Kyle forced to go door-to-door berating poor people

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The Jeremy Kyle Show has been cancelled by ITV, leaving its host with no choice but to go door-to-door berating poor people for their life choices.

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Warmaster Horus to stand as ‘anti-establishment’ candidate in forthcoming elections

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Warmaster Horus has pledged to break up the ‘cosy Terran consensus’ in the forthcoming elections, according to reports today.

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