Health

‘Plan B? We haven’t got a f*cking clue what plan A is’ confirms government

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The government has revealed today that they may have to move immediately to their so-called ‘Plan B’ to deal with the pandemic this winter, because they haven’t got a fucking clue what plan A is, to be honest.

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New Third World Covid plan includes hoping for the best and burying lots and lots of people

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Following Britain’s announcement of its plans to manage Covid throughout the winter, the Third World has announced its own plans for Covid.

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Government to delay announcement of any Christmas lockdowns, until everyone’s works Christmas party is booked

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The government has revealed today that the announcement of any ‘last resort’ Christmas lockdowns will be delayed, at least until everyone’s work Christmas party has been booked.

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Having a ‘Wet Ass Pussy’ not linked to Covid vaccine either, confirms Professor Chris Whitty

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WAP is not linked to receiving the vaccine for coronavirus, Britain’s Chief Medical Officer has today confirmed.

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Nicki Minaj stuns at the Met Gala in glorious swollen testicle dress

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Rapper Nicki Minaj stunned at last night’s Met Gala after appearing in a dress composed mainly of two large and swollen testicles.

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‘Just don’t get sick’ – Government confirms plans to manage Covid during winter

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The Government have confirmed their plan to manage Covid during the winter period. They will be asking everyone to not get sick.

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Post-Brexit shortage of water treatment chemicals leaves promised ‘sunlit uplands’ covered in sewage

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As the government confirmed a post-Brexit shortage of water chemicals could see water companies given permission to put sewage into the open water system untreated, early reports reveal Brexit’s sunlit uplands are already starting to smell of shit.

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Red pill actually just horse dewormer, admits Morpheus

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The Red Pill –  which Morpheus claimed would open Thomas ‘Neo’ Anderson’s eyes to the real world –  is just a generic horse dewormer that he bought off the internet, the black-clad guru admitted today.

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Joe Rogan reveals he beat Covid with nothing more than Ivermectin and thousands of dollars of FDA-approved monoclonal antibody treatments

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Podcast host and vaccine sceptic Joe Rogan has revealed he contracted Covid but recovered in just a few short days thanks to a strict regimen of Ivermectin and thousands of dollars of FDA-approved monoclonal antibody treatments.

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Man who doesn’t trust vaccines currently swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer he ordered off the Internet

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Reports are emerging of a Covid-denying vaccine sceptic who is swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer that he ordered on the Internet to ward off a disease he doesn’t even think is that serious.

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