Health

Man complaining about eating chlorine-washed chicken unaware he swallowed chlorine-washed verruca at pool this morning

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Health conscious Brits, campaigning for the UK to veto any possible deal to import chlorine-washed chicken from the US, are apparently more than happy to gulp down a mouthful of chlorine washed scabs, verrucae and snot in their local swimming pool.

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Yorkshire on high alert after man spotted buying Quinoa in Doncaster

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People in Yorkshire are warned to be on the lookout after a man was spotted buying Quinoa in Doncaster yesterday.

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Equine flu far more severe for stallions than for fillies

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The virulent strain of equine flu which has disrupted the racing calendar this week is far more debilitating and unpleasant for stallions than it is for their female counterparts, according to a leading vet today.

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Sir Christopher Chope convinced FGM is popular men’s lifestyle magazine

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Tory MP, Sir Christopher Chope, has blocked a bid to end FGM, insisting there aren’t enough publications offering general advice on anything from lifestyle to dating tips.

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Mother wants to know if you’re OK after seeing all those strange memes you’re sharing

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Your mother is worried about you, according to reports this afternoon.

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Major fire at Ocado leads to panic buying of Avocado and Quinoa

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A ‘major fire’ at middle-class grocery delivery outlet Ocado has led to predictions of ‘severe shortages’ of Avocados and Quinoa for at least several days, according to reports.

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Man who successfully completed Veganuary spending today eating own body weight in meat

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A man who gave up eating meat for January is today trying to eat an entire dead pig to himself.

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Woman who always has heating on full still going out in a strappy top and skirt tonight

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A woman whose heating is always on full blast is still going out in a strappy top and miniskirt tonight.

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Supergonorrhoea to join ailing DC Extended Universe

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Supergonorrhoea has joined the DC Extended Universe in a bit to raise awareness of the ailing film franchise.

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Veganuary sees huge surge in popularity due to how angry it makes Piers Morgan

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Veganuary, a campaign for people to stop eating meat and using animal products for January, has received a huge boost in popularity once it became apparent exactly how angry the whole thing was making Piers Morgan.

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