Health

Tories launch urgent investigation after lucrative NHS contract accidentally awarded to firm with no connections to them whatsoever

Thumbnail image for Tories launch urgent investigation after lucrative NHS contract accidentally awarded to firm with no connections to them whatsoever

The government is today launching an urgent inquiry after it was discovered that a lucrative NHS supply contract was awarded to a firm that personally benefitted not a single member of the party, or any of their friends.

Read the full article →

Vaccine program gives hope to Brits yearning to fly abroad and demand everything be exactly the same as the UK

Thumbnail image for Vaccine program gives hope to Brits yearning to fly abroad and demand everything be exactly the same as the UK

The success of the mass vaccination program against COVID 19 has left many people in England hopeful that this summer they will be able to jet off to exotic locales and then expect every facet of life to be a carbon copy of what they left in Surrey.

Read the full article →

Boots ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets to be ready for Christmas

Thumbnail image for Boots ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets to be ready for Christmas

Boots will be offering ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets just in time for Christmas it is revealed today.

Read the full article →

Girlfriend cold, reports indicate

Thumbnail image for Girlfriend cold, reports indicate

Your girlfriend is cold, according to extensive reports today.

Read the full article →

Man seriously considers thinking about washing his face mask

Thumbnail image for Man seriously considers thinking about washing his face mask

After a year of regular use, a man’s face mask might soon be due for a wash.

Read the full article →

Montagues and Capulets resume ancient feud as restrictions on two households mingling lifted.

Thumbnail image for Montagues and Capulets resume ancient feud as restrictions on two households mingling lifted.

Two households, both alike in dignity, are allowed to mingle in the pursuit of their ancient grudge from today.

Read the full article →

White Witch curses Britain to ‘always winter and never the end of lockdown’

Thumbnail image for White Witch curses Britain to ‘always winter and never the end of lockdown’

As snow falls over Britain today, the White Witch has claimed responsibility for covering the land in endless winter.

Read the full article →

‘We are going to have to learn to live with the Conservative Party’ says Chris Whitty

Thumbnail image for ‘We are going to have to learn to live with the Conservative Party’ says Chris Whitty

Speaking at the latest government press briefing, public health supremo Professor Chis Whitty warned that society will just have to come to terms with the Tory Party, as it will be with us for many years to come.

Read the full article →

Wetherspoons reveals their only ‘passport’ requirement will be a crisp £10 note when pubs reopen

Thumbnail image for Wetherspoons reveals their only ‘passport’ requirement will be a crisp £10 note when pubs reopen

Wetherspoons has revealed today that so-called vaccine passport requirements to enter their establishments will be limited to a nice crisp £10 note and a toothless grin when pubs finally reopen next week.

Read the full article →

‘Vaccine passports infringe my right to privacy’ insists man whose wife knows less about him than Facebook

Thumbnail image for ‘Vaccine passports infringe my right to privacy’ insists man whose wife knows less about him than Facebook

Facebook user Simon Williams is today bemoaning vaccine passports as a huge affront to his right to privacy and is using his Facebook profile where everything is set to ‘public’ to do it.

Read the full article →