Health

Missouri makes menstruation a crime after learning ovum could have been a child

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As part of a growing trend in the southern US states to curtail the reproductive rights of women, the state of Missouri has criminalized having a period, after discovering that it was the discharge of a viable ovum.

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Alabama outlaws abortion in cases of incest because that’s about half their population

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Almost half the population of Alabama could be affected if abortion in cases of inbreeding was legalised, reports have confirmed today.

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Donald Trump convinced Roe vs Wade was legendary 1970’s Wimbledon final

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Roe vs Wade was an outstanding tennis match featuring Virginia Wade and someone called Roe, rather than an important piece of abortion legislature, according to Donald Trump.

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90 deaths per month would only be an issue if our ‘fit for work’ assessments were carried out by Jeremy Kyle, insists DWP

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The Department for Work and Pensions has defended the latest figures which have shown 90 people a month die after being declared ‘fit for work’, insisting this would only be a problem if the assessments were carried out by Jeremy Kyle.

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Man wondering if he can talk about Fight Club yet

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51-year-old Simon Williams is wondering if he can talk about Fight Club yet, we can confirm.

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Nation having less sex than ever pleads with broadcasters for fewer images of Nigel Farage

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Brits across the nation have pleaded with broadcasters and news organisations to stop putting pictures on Nigel Farage on the television and in their newspapers.

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Winterfell Starbucks introduces Giants Milk Latte

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Giant’s Milk Chai Latte is the latest addition to the range at Winterfell Starbucks, to help keep you warm through the endless winter.

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Anti-vaxxers delighted that the thousands of dead unvaccinated kids were probably autism-free

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Anti-vaccination activists were left delighted today after it was revealed that the thousands of children who have died as a result of preventable diseases were probably autism-free at the time.

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Everyone having nightmares about milk ducts

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An image of human milk ducts has gone viral and now nobody will sleep soundly ever again.

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Measles is on the rise, but should you get your child vaccinated? Take this interactive test to find out!

Thumbnail image for Measles is on the rise, but should you get your child vaccinated? Take this interactive test to find out!

With news that measles is on the rise again, and that millions of children are missing their vaccinations, we ask, ‘should YOU get your child vaccinated?’

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