A British holidaymaker has been left fuming today after a local shop owner proved too bloody ignorant to understand a word he was saying in English.
Boris treats himself to nice holiday after exhausting fifteen minutes of work in energy meeting
After turning up for fifteen minutes of work at a crunch meeting with energy bosses, an exhausted Boris Johnson has treated himself to a week or so in Greece.
‘It’s a three-year plan’ insist Manchester United, for the ninth consecutive year
Manchester United have insisted today that their return to Premiership glory is a three-year plan, for the ninth consecutive year. United, who currently sit bottom of the Premier league after being beaten by both Brighton and Brentford insisted that fans should not panic earlier as the current run of form is all just part of […]
Cristiano Ronaldo is willing to go basically anywhere at this point.
Former President Donald Trump has defended himself against allegations he illegally withheld top secret documents by issuing a statement that he was attracted by the pretty red letters on the covers.
- Scientists urged to divert attention away from space exploration to create pillow that stays cool all night
- Kent man forced to travel to kitchen in search of water
- Africa planning fundraiser to aid UK’s drought-stricken gardeners
- Boris Johnson spotted seriously considering a full hour’s work
- ‘There is nothing more Tory than profiteering from the supply of a human necessity’ insists Liz Truss
- Supermarkets stop selling Tory governments to prevent bin fires
- “That’s just Ezra being Ezra!” pleads DC Films as Ezra Miller burns down puppy orphanage
- Rishi Sunak pledges ‘Eat Out to Blackout’ scheme to address energy crisis
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Sport
‘It’s a three-year plan’ insist Manchester United, for the ninth consecutive year
Manchester United have insisted today that their return to Premiership glory is a three-year plan, for the ninth consecutive year. United, who currently sit bottom of the Premier league after being beaten by both Brighton and Brentford insisted that fans should not panic earlier as the current run of form is all just part of […]
Politics
Boris treats himself to nice holiday after exhausting fifteen minutes of work in energy meeting
After turning up for fifteen minutes of work at a crunch meeting with energy bosses, an exhausted Boris Johnson has treated himself to a week or so in Greece.
Entertainment
“That’s just Ezra being Ezra!” pleads DC Films as Ezra Miller burns down puppy orphanage
DC Films has called Ezra Miller a ‘silly little goofball’ after the actor burnt down a puppy orphanage.
World
British holidaymaker fuming as local shopkeeper too bloody ignorant to understand a word of English
A British holidaymaker has been left fuming today after a local shop owner proved too bloody ignorant to understand a word he was saying in English.
Technology
James Webb telescope provides tantalising glimpse 5 billion years into the past with the first pictures of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s childhood
Nasa has released the first images of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s childhood, thanks to the incredible far reaching photographic capabilities of the James Webb telescope. The James Webb telescope is the largest optical telescope in space, and its infrared capabilities mean it is able to glimpse far into the distance to a time before Earth even existed […]
Science
Scientists urged to divert attention away from space exploration to create pillow that stays cool all night
Scientists have been urged to put their brainpower to something more critical than the long-term survival of the human race and to solve the mystery of the pillow that won’t stay cool during the night.
Education
‘When do they go back to school again?’ ask millions of parents
Parents across the UK have politely asked today when it might be that their children can go back to school again as the annual school holidays begin to take their toll.
Business
‘There is nothing more Tory than profiteering from the supply of a human necessity’ insists Liz Truss
Liz Truss has insisted the excess profits made by energy companies during an energy crisis that is pushing millions of people towards energy poverty is in line with ‘Conservative values’.
