Thumbnail image for Liz Truss plants pie in hope of growing bigger pie

Liz Truss plants pie in hope of growing bigger pie

After telling the nation through the medium or tortuous analogy that the key to prosperity is to ‘grow a bigger pie’, Liz truss has been filmed planting a small pie in her garden safe in the knowledge that under her guidance it will grow into a bigger one. As Tory sycophants lined up to tell […]

Thumbnail image for Truss’ speech marred by the sound of multiple knives being sharpened

Truss’ speech marred by the sound of multiple knives being sharpened

Liz Truss found herself massively distracted mid-speech today.

Elon Musk has confirmed today that he will now be purchasing Twitter by revealing the news to his massive 107m followers, which includes almost two hundred actual human beings.

A man has installed a fake thermostat in the hall of his three-bed semi in the hope it will prevent his wife and children putting the heating on any time they ‘feel a bit chilly’.

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Thumbnail image for Vladimir Putin formally annexes Chelsea

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To protect Chelsea supporters from the oppression of the premier league table, Vladimir Putin has declared his intention to intervene in London on ‘humanitarian grounds’.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Putin, Dead Queen, Thanos – the Anti-Growth Coalition explained

Putin, Dead Queen, Thanos – the Anti-Growth Coalition explained

The Anti-Growth Coalition is an insidious force intent on making us all poorer. But who are they, and is this just something Liz Truss made up this morning while on the loo?

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Liz Truss wakes up in the shower

Liz Truss wakes up in the shower

Britain’s long-standing soap opera, The Conservative Party, once again stunned audiences with a surreal plot twist whereupon leading character Liz Truss suddenly woke up and realised the previous two disastrous weeks were nothing but a vivid dream.

World

Thumbnail image for Liz Truss to punish Vladimir Putin by running Russia’s economy for a week

Liz Truss to punish Vladimir Putin by running Russia’s economy for a week

Britain has imposed its toughest sanction on Russia to date; namely, putting Liz Truss in control of their economy for up to a week.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Elon Musk confirms Twitter purchase to his 107m followers, including almost two hundred actual humans

Elon Musk confirms Twitter purchase to his 107m followers, including almost two hundred actual humans

Elon Musk has confirmed today that he will now be purchasing Twitter by revealing the news to his massive 107m followers, which includes almost two hundred actual human beings.

Education

Thumbnail image for Can you all please keep focussing on Holly and Phil, asks government working quietly to hand billions to energy executives and bankers

Can you all please keep focussing on Holly and Phil, asks government working quietly to hand billions to energy executives and bankers

The government has asked if you could possibly drag this whole Phil and Holly thing for a few more days while they tie up any loose ends in their plans to lift the cap on bankers’ bonuses and to guarantee windfalls earnings for energy companies.

Business

Thumbnail image for Elon Musk confirms Twitter purchase to his 107m followers, including almost two hundred actual humans

Elon Musk confirms Twitter purchase to his 107m followers, including almost two hundred actual humans

Elon Musk has confirmed today that he will now be purchasing Twitter by revealing the news to his massive 107m followers, which includes almost two hundred actual human beings.