
Count Binface is facing ridicule in the political community after the latest opinion polls show he is neck and neck with comedy candidate Laurence Fox.

Top European clubs announce plan to add second ball to football matches
Following the collapse of the Super League, the ‘top’ European clubs have quickly bounced back and have announced a brand new, sensible and practical plan.

US Police committed to ending all killing of unarmed black men, on camera
Police in the US have today vowed to end all killing of unarmed black men by their officers, on camera.
The so-called ‘big six’ Premier League clubs have denied any knowledge today of ever being involved in any so-called European Breakaway Super League.
Livid James Dyson orders PM to scrap £2.6m briefing room after spotting a Henry Hoover in the corner
A furious James Dyson is behind the move by Boris Johnson to scrap his £2.6m Downing Street briefing room, it has emerged.
- C*nts unhappy with Chauvin verdict, it emerges
- White people pleased racism sorted and everything can get back to normal
- Disillusioned football fans urged to try Warhammer
- Bunch of greedy bastards vow to take ‘whatever action necessary’ to stop other bunch of greedy bastards
- Julian Nagelsmann sacked by Spurs just days before being given manager’s job
- Morrissey furious after The Simpsons portrays him as capable of being someone’s friend
- Employer grudgingly flicks through overly-keen candidate’s National Record of Achievement
- Arsenal already relegated from new European Super League
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Roy Keane and Gary Neville change into Batman and Robin outfits to fight evil European Super League
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Sport

Top European clubs announce plan to add second ball to football matches
Following the collapse of the Super League, the ‘top’ European clubs have quickly bounced back and have announced a brand new, sensible and practical plan.
Politics

London Mayoral hopeful Count Binface facing ridicule after failing to pull ahead of comedy candidate Laurence Fox
Count Binface is facing ridicule in the political community after the latest opinion polls show he is neck and neck with comedy candidate Laurence Fox.
Entertainment

C*nts unhappy with Chauvin verdict, it emerges
In a stunning turn of events, the USA’s vast industry of race-baiting grifters, bigoted malcontents, money-grubbing hatemongers and opportunistic wankers are none too happy that a cop finally got convicted for murdering a black man.
World

US Police committed to ending all killing of unarmed black men, on camera
Police in the US have today vowed to end all killing of unarmed black men by their officers, on camera.
Technology

Perseverance rover devastated as first selfie gets only 17 likes
Nasa’s Perseverance rover has suffered a major dent in its confidence today following news that the first selfie taken by the craft received only 17 likes on Instagram within the first 2 hours of posting.
Science

Perseverance rover devastated as first selfie gets only 17 likes
Nasa’s Perseverance rover has suffered a major dent in its confidence today following news that the first selfie taken by the craft received only 17 likes on Instagram within the first 2 hours of posting.
Education

Supermarkets prepare for back-to-school Monday with 3-for-2 on “Mummy’s special Ribena”
Supermarkets will be there for you to get on the sesh from 8am on Monday.
Business

Livid James Dyson orders PM to scrap £2.6m briefing room after spotting a Henry Hoover in the corner
A furious James Dyson is behind the move by Boris Johnson to scrap his £2.6m Downing Street briefing room, it has emerged.