Thumbnail image for Man who had a WWII shell removed from his rectum identified as Mark Francois

Man who had a WWII shell removed from his rectum identified as Mark Francois

A man who accidentally inserted an inert WWII shell into his rectum has today been identified as Tory backbencher and perpetual Blitzphile, Mark Francios.

Thumbnail image for Nigel Farage launches re-imagined nativity where ‘the real heroes’ are the innkeepers who insisted they were full

Nigel Farage launches re-imagined nativity where ‘the real heroes’ are the innkeepers who insisted they were full

GB News entertainment presenter Nigel Farage has commissioned a new nativity play in which the true heroes are the innkeepers who insisted they were full, despite increasing left-wing liberal pressure to adopt an open-door policy to refugees.

Prince Charles has announced plans to extend his vegan tendencies to the Tower of London once he ascends to the throne.

All branches of Wetherspoons in Germany have precisely zero customers now that all ‘rational, sensible people’ are banned from going to their bars.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for ‘That 18th goal killed us’ insist Latvia Women’s football team

‘That 18th goal killed us’ insist Latvia Women’s football team

Latvia have insisted today that they were still in last night’s World Cup Qualifier match with England, until the 18th goal went in.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Mark Francois complains that ‘remainer-biased galleries’ refused to exhibit his artwork

Mark Francois complains that ‘remainer-biased galleries’ refused to exhibit his artwork

Tory backbencher and self-published memoir-writer has today lashed out at the many remainer-owned galleries that steadfastly refused to host an exhibition of artwork he produced during lockdown.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Nigel Farage launches re-imagined nativity where ‘the real heroes’ are the innkeepers who insisted they were full

Nigel Farage launches re-imagined nativity where ‘the real heroes’ are the innkeepers who insisted they were full

GB News entertainment presenter Nigel Farage has commissioned a new nativity play in which the true heroes are the innkeepers who insisted they were full, despite increasing left-wing liberal pressure to adopt an open-door policy to refugees.

World

Thumbnail image for German Wetherspoons completely empty after unvaccinated banned from pubs

German Wetherspoons completely empty after unvaccinated banned from pubs

All branches of Wetherspoons in Germany have precisely zero customers now that all ‘rational, sensible people’ are banned from going to their bars.

Technology

Thumbnail image for All the best investment opportunities use spam and fake social media profiles for promotion, insist crypto gurus

All the best investment opportunities use spam and fake social media profiles for promotion, insist crypto gurus

Crypto gurus across the Internet have insisted that we should read nothing into their repeated use of fake social media profiles and comment spam to promote their get-rich-quick schemes.

Science

Thumbnail image for Bruce Willis spotted aboard Nasa Dart rocket holding industrial sized drilling equipment

Bruce Willis spotted aboard Nasa Dart rocket holding industrial sized drilling equipment

Bruce Willis was spotted aboard Nasa’s Dart rocket it has been revealed today, holding some large industrial-sized drilling equipment along with a group of other misfits as it blasted off from the earth.

Business

Thumbnail image for German Wetherspoons completely empty after unvaccinated banned from pubs

German Wetherspoons completely empty after unvaccinated banned from pubs

All branches of Wetherspoons in Germany have precisely zero customers now that all ‘rational, sensible people’ are banned from going to their bars.