Thumbnail image for Terry Jones moves on to something completely different

Terry Jones moves on to something completely different

Terry Jones, 77 has died, meaning that he’s about to find out if the Messiah really is a very naughty boy.

Thumbnail image for Harry and Meghan stunned to discover that paparazzi wankers exist in other countries too

Harry and Meghan stunned to discover that paparazzi wankers exist in other countries too

Harry and Meghan have been alarmed and disappointed to learn that amoral paparazzi shits aren’t just a dismal feature of public life in England, but they can be found elsewhere too.

Concerned fans of piss-poor lager have been reassured that their health is at no risk from drinking the beer, or at least no more than usual.

The nation is awash with excitement at the prospect of forgetting all about Laurence Fox.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Man Utd leave Premier League to concentrate on Deloitte Football Money League

Man Utd leave Premier League to concentrate on Deloitte Football Money League

Manchester United have announced they are leaving the ‘small potatoes’ English Premier League to concentrate on improving their position near the top of the Deloitte Football Money League, where they have dropped down the rankings.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Plans to hang EU flag on Dover cliffs shows Remainers can be just as twattish as Leavers

Plans to hang EU flag on Dover cliffs shows Remainers can be just as twattish as Leavers

A plan to hang a giant EU flag from the famous White Cliffs of Dover to mark the day Britain leaves the EU would seem to indicate that those who support remaining in the EU are equally as twattish as those who support leaving.

World

Thumbnail image for Harry and Meghan stunned to discover that paparazzi wankers exist in other countries too

Harry and Meghan stunned to discover that paparazzi wankers exist in other countries too

Harry and Meghan have been alarmed and disappointed to learn that amoral paparazzi shits aren’t just a dismal feature of public life in England, but they can be found elsewhere too.

Science

Thumbnail image for Storm Brendon set to cause chaos: is it Meghan’s fault?

Storm Brendon set to cause chaos: is it Meghan’s fault?

Storm Brendon is expected to make landfall on Great Britain today bringing travel and infrastructure chaos and experts are suggesting that this first named storm of the year could be the fault of Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex.

Education

Thumbnail image for School PTA raises £50,000 by promising no events in 2020

School PTA raises £50,000 by promising no events in 2020

A West Yorkshire primary school has succeeded in raising an astonishing £50,000 by charging £100 per family, in exchange for cancelling all PTA events throughout 2020.

Business

Thumbnail image for ‘No alignment with common sense after Brexit’ warns Sajid Javid

‘No alignment with common sense after Brexit’ warns Sajid Javid

Chancellor, Sajid Javid has accepted that businesses will be hit by Brexit and is tackling this by ensuring “there will be no alignment” to any semblance of coherent rationality because we MUST deviate from all EU rules, obvs.