Fantasy football players all over the UK are ready, set and excited to start up their season again today while watching every single one of the players they picked suddenly play like absolute shite. As Premier League football finally returns this weekend after almost three months off, millions of fantasy football fans have been spending […]
0.1% of bacteria not killed by anti-bacterial spray having a right laugh
The tiny fraction of bacteria that cannot be defeated by anti-bacterial spray are having an absolute blast, according to reports.
Rishi Sunak gets huge boost in Tory heartlands after admitting he diverted money to them from deprived urban areas
Rishi Sunak has taken a massive lead in the Tory leadership race today after footage emerged of him admitting diverting money from deprived urban areas to give it to Tory.
The government has sought to calm fears over the increasingly desperate cost of living crisis by offering advice to have a vast, inherited fortune to ride out the dramatic inflation/recession expected over the coming year.
Full-time pyro-lunatics and occasional musicians Rammstein have announced a plan to prop up the German economy by bankrupting fans across Europe with another tour.
- Liz Truss criticised for wasting energy as her lights are on but nobody’s home
- Bank of England announces sharp rise in tedious mortgage conversations
- Sajid Javid bravely backs Liz Truss for Tory leader, now that he knows she’s going to win
- China behaving like a happy and confident nation who are absolutely the best choice for Taiwan
- Tory leadership swimsuit round rescheduled to this coming Saturday
- Fans already demanding Snyder Cut of Batgirl
- Rebekah Vardy claims she never sold stories to The Sun in exclusive story she sold to The Sun
- Fears many could miss out on £400 fuel payment because, come on, have you seen this government?
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Sport
Fantasy football fans excited to watch every single one of their players suddenly become absolutely shit
Fantasy football players all over the UK are ready, set and excited to start up their season again today while watching every single one of the players they picked suddenly play like absolute shite. As Premier League football finally returns this weekend after almost three months off, millions of fantasy football fans have been spending […]
Politics
Rishi Sunak gets huge boost in Tory heartlands after admitting he diverted money to them from deprived urban areas
Rishi Sunak has taken a massive lead in the Tory leadership race today after footage emerged of him admitting diverting money from deprived urban areas to give it to Tory.
Entertainment
Fantasy football fans excited to watch every single one of their players suddenly become absolutely shit
Fantasy football players all over the UK are ready, set and excited to start up their season again today while watching every single one of the players they picked suddenly play like absolute shite. As Premier League football finally returns this weekend after almost three months off, millions of fantasy football fans have been spending […]
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Germany announces plan to save their economy by sending Rammstein on tour again next year
Full-time pyro-lunatics and occasional musicians Rammstein have announced a plan to prop up the German economy by bankrupting fans across Europe with another tour.
Technology
James Webb telescope provides tantalising glimpse 5 billion years into the past with the first pictures of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s childhood
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Oh you like the James Webb Space Telescope? Fine, name three of its spectrographic analyses of exoplanet atmospheres
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Education
‘When do they go back to school again?’ ask millions of parents
Parents across the UK have politely asked today when it might be that their children can go back to school again as the annual school holidays begin to take their toll.
Business
Bank of England announces sharp rise in tedious mortgage conversations
The Bank of England has today announced a sharp rise in the number of tedious conversations about mortgages.
