Britain has finally found a thing that they can all agree on and get behind.
Brexiters who bought Nigel Farage condoms on promise of multiple sexual encounters left wanking into socks two years later
The Nigel Farage condom has proven to be the perfect metaphor for Brexit Britain, according to a study of the sort of people who actually buy such things.
Lying bastards furious at Emanuel Macron for pointing out that they are lying bastards
The UK world of political fibbers erupted in fury as the French President broke protocol and openly highlighted the obvious truth that Brexit proponents were lying sacks of shit
The woman accusing Supreme Court nominee Bret Kavanaugh of attempting to sexually assault her when they were teenagers should have come forward in public sooner, according to the very people doing everything in their power to make her seem like a lying slut this morning.
On the eve of their party conference, Labour has announced a clear position on Brexit – they will support any Brexit deal that takes a harsh line with Israel.
- Vatican confirms that resurrection of the Chequers deal would be classified as an official miracle
- Monty Python’s Black Knight insists Chequers plan still alive: “It’s just a flesh wound!”
- Free packet of spice with tomorrow’s Daily Mail
- Would you make a Great Dictator? Take our test to find out!
- Big Bird revealed as a foot fetishist
- EU offers to make Northern Ireland French, if it will help
- Fungi producers facing bankruptcy as everybody off mushrooms now
- New Tesco discount store lacking the level of utter chaos required to pose threat to Aldi or Lidl
Also in the News
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Leaked document shows that the UK will register as a charity after Brexit
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Yoghurt is this week’s thing that will definitely kill you
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Nigel Farage Photo Casebook
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