Thumbnail image for Arcadia could survive if Sir Philip Green bothered to check down the back of his sofa

Arcadia could survive if Sir Philip Green bothered to check down the back of his sofa

Topshop, Burton and Dorothy Perkins might be alright if Sir Philip Green checked under his arse.

Thumbnail image for Roast Chicken flavoured crisps count as substantial meal but Cheese & Onion do not, confirms government

Roast Chicken flavoured crisps count as substantial meal but Cheese & Onion do not, confirms government

Crisps count as a meal, but only if they are flavoured as such, the government has today confirmed.

People have decided that it will now be Christmas until the ‘new normal’ fucks back off to where it came from.

Santa’s delightful little elven helper, who hides around the house watching for naughty children in the run-up to Christmas, has been given the power to report people for breaking lockdown and issue on the spot fines and perform immediate arrests if necessary.

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Politics

Thumbnail image for Elf on a Shelf to report people for breaking lockdown this Christmas

Elf on a Shelf to report people for breaking lockdown this Christmas

Santa’s delightful little elven helper, who hides around the house watching for naughty children in the run-up to Christmas, has been given the power to report people for breaking lockdown and issue on the spot fines and perform immediate arrests if necessary.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Donald Trump denies it is Monday, accuses Democrats of rigging the weekend

Donald Trump denies it is Monday, accuses Democrats of rigging the weekend

The weekend should have had millions more wonderful, terrific days if they had not been stolen by the Deep State, according to a tweet from Donald Trump today.

World

Thumbnail image for Donald Trump denies it is Monday, accuses Democrats of rigging the weekend

Donald Trump denies it is Monday, accuses Democrats of rigging the weekend

The weekend should have had millions more wonderful, terrific days if they had not been stolen by the Deep State, according to a tweet from Donald Trump today.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Twitter man finds Tess Daly attractive

Twitter man finds Tess Daly attractive

An Essex man has taken to Twitter in order to alert the popular presenter Tess Daly to the fact that he finds her attractive.

Science

Thumbnail image for New study reveals Chinese are just as good at whispering as anyone else

New study reveals Chinese are just as good at whispering as anyone else

Researchers have sent shockwaves around primary schools and playgroups by revealing that the Chinese are no better or worse at whispering than any other race.