Politics

Brexiters who bought Nigel Farage condoms on promise of multiple sexual encounters left wanking into socks two years later

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The Nigel Farage condom has proven to be the perfect metaphor for Brexit Britain, according to a study of the sort of people who actually buy such things.

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Lying bastards furious at Emanuel Macron for pointing out that they are lying bastards

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The UK world of political fibbers erupted in fury as the French President broke protocol and openly highlighted the obvious truth that Brexit proponents were lying sacks of shit

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Why didn’t Kavanaugh’s accuser come forward sooner, ask people publicly suggesting she’s a lying slut

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The woman accusing Supreme Court nominee Bret Kavanaugh of attempting to sexually assault her when they were teenagers should have come forward in public sooner, according to the very people doing everything in their power to make her seem like a lying slut this morning.

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Labour to support any Brexit deal punitive to Israel

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On the eve of their party conference, Labour has announced a clear position on Brexit – they will support any Brexit deal that takes a harsh line with Israel.

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Vatican confirms that resurrection of the Chequers deal would be classified as an official miracle

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The Catholic Church has today confirmed it is ready to announce an official miracle if the EU27 adopts Theresa May’s Chequers plan for Brexit.

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Monty Python’s Black Knight insists Chequers plan still alive: “It’s just a flesh wound!”

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The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail has today insisted that Theresa May’s Chequers plan for Brexit is still alive, despite a string of vicious attacks from European leaders.

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EU offers to make Northern Ireland French, if it will help

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The EU has attempted to break the deadlock in Brexit negotiations by offering to make Northern Ireland French.

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Leaked document shows that the UK will register as a charity after Brexit

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A document leaked to the press today has confirmed that from 1st April 2019, the UK will be registered as an independent charity, with the ability to apply for funding from the likes of Oxfam, The Red Cross and Amnesty International.

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Prime Minister ruins wedding photos

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Theresa May has randomly rocked up to ruin some poor couple’s wedding photos.

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Toad, the ‘mushroom character’ from Mario Kart, to sue over claims he resembles Donald Trump’s penis

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Popular Mario Kart character Toad is to take legal action over claims from porn star Stormy Daniels that he resembles Donald Trump’s strange looking penis.

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