Politics

Saffron Walden Town Council commits to continued use of Trident Nuclear deterrent

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The Saffron Walden Town Council has committed to the continued use of its Trident Nuclear deterrent for its town defence system.

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Johnson Government downgraded to junta

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The current Johnson Government has officially been reclassified as a junta following the recent corruption revelations surrounding Greensill Capital.

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Tories launch urgent investigation after lucrative NHS contract accidentally awarded to firm with no connections to them whatsoever

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The government is today launching an urgent inquiry after it was discovered that a lucrative NHS supply contract was awarded to a firm that personally benefitted not a single member of the party, or any of their friends.

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We thought you knew cronyism was part of the deal, Conservatives tell public

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The Conservatives are apparently baffled by allegations of corruption, given they assumed the electorate was fully aware of what they were like.

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David Cameron seen flogging access to ministers out of a suitcase down the market

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Ex-Prime Minister David Cameron has come under fire again after he was seen down the market, flogging access to ministers out of a suitcase.

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‘Children lacked discipline during lockdown’ says man sacked from the government for lack of discipline

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Education Secretary, Gavin Williamson has chided the nation’s youth for poor discipline during lockdown, himself being a beacon of propriety and exemplary conduct, or not so much, as former Prime Minister, Theresa May can attest.

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Woman concerned she isn’t able to spend enough time each day really hating Boris Johnson

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A woman has explained her concern that she simply doesn’t have enough spare time in the day to really do justice to hating Boris Johnson.

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‘We are going to have to learn to live with the Conservative Party’ says Chris Whitty

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Speaking at the latest government press briefing, public health supremo Professor Chis Whitty warned that society will just have to come to terms with the Tory Party, as it will be with us for many years to come.

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Sinn Fein made my cat kill the hamster, says indignant Arlene Foster

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Defying critics who claim it was her fault for letting the hamster out of the cage at night, the leader of the DUP has excoriated Sinn Fein and Boris Johnson for the recent tragedy that was completely impossible to predict from observation of past events and plain logic.

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Another government U-turn on Covid passports is ‘one option’ says minister

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Another government U-turn on the use of so-called ‘Covid passports’ is one option the government are considering it is revealed today.

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