Politics

‘Support Theresa May’, plead DUP knowing nobody else would be stupid enough go to make a deal with them

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The DUP are terrified that Labour’s motion of no confidence will lead to a new government and the end of their political influence.

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“The only way forward is to do exactly what I’ve said all along” – exclusive interview with every British politician

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In an exclusive interview this morning, every politician in Britain has insisted the only way forward is for other people to change their position, and not them.

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Theresa May grateful that vote of no confidence was called by only MP less popular than she is

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Theresa May will face a vote of no confidence in parliament this evening but is relieved the vote was called by the only MP in the houses of parliament with a lower approval rating than hers.

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Britain successfully lulls EU into false sense of security by giving appearance of incompetence and confusion

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As Theresa May’s Brexit deal was voted down yesterday, Europe looked on, baffled at the incompetence and confusion coming out of Westminster – which could be exactly what the government want them to think.

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Hard Brexiter and Remainer both convinced they won tonight’s parliamentary vote

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A hard Brexiter and staunch Remainer are both claiming victory after tonight’s parliamentary vote, insisting it takes them a step closer to their desired outcome.

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Nation shocked as crap deal presented by incompetent leader fails to secure outcome no-one wanted

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Theresa May has had her arse handed to her by parliament in a massive blow to fans of crap ideas everywhere.

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Donald Trump devastated after having to share his usual daily order of 300 burgers with visitors to the White House

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President Trump cried himself to sleep yesterday after being forced to share his supper with a national college football championship winners, the Clemson Tigers.

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David Cameron somehow remains neither tarred nor feathered

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David Cameron still hasn’t been tarred and feathered, despite everything currently falling to bits around us.

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Theresa May lays out offer of handjobs for support ahead of crucial Brexit vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May is to try and win over those sceptical of her Brexit plan by offering handjobs in return for their backing.

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Opinion: Brexit chaos is the fault of absolutely everyone except the people who actually voted for it

Thumbnail image for Opinion: Brexit chaos is the fault of absolutely everyone except the people who actually voted for it

There are many people whom it is possible to blame for the shambles that Brexit has become: quisling traitors, remoaners, deep-state operatives, incompetent politicians, high court judges, so-called ‘experts’, academics…the list goes on.

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