Politics

So are we allowed to get back to it now, or not, ask doggers

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The dogging community are in a state of confusion after Prime Minister Boris Johnson updated the official guidance on meeting up with other people during the lockdown.

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Hating Donald Trump confers immunity to Coronavirus, insist Londoners

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Londoners have abandoned social distancing and lockdown restrictions entirely after it emerged that nursing a powerful hatred of the President of the United States confers almost complete immunity to the Covid-19 virus.

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Donald Trump only visited White House bunker to see a man about his bone spurs

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President Trump has insisted the only reason he went to the White House bunker while protests raged on Pennsylvania Avenue was to see a man about a flare-up of his bone spurs.

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Trump confirms that the right to protest only applies to Karens wanting a new hairdo

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US President and Bond film villain Donald Trump earlier confirmed that the freedom to protest in the US Bill of Rights only applies to middle-aged, entitled white women who want to have their hair cut.

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Corporate Twitter account offers heartfelt copy and paste of Marvin Gaye quote in support of #BlackLivesMatter

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A corporate Twitter account has demonstrated its support of the #BlackLivesMatter movement with a heartfelt copy and paste of a Marvin Gaye quote from What’s Going On.

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Victory over Internet voting finally lays to rest bitter memories of my defeat against the Gutenberg printing press, insists Rees-Mogg

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has hailed his victory against Internet voting in the House of Commons, insisting it goes some way to making up for his attempts to stop the Gutenberg printing press back in 1440.

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Man tweeting #AllLivesMatter also advocates risking vulnerable people dying from Covid-19 to get economy going again

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A man who is busy Tweeting #AllLivesMatter whenever he sees the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag was busy last week insisting we need to reopen the economy even if it means risking the lives of the more vulnerable in our society.

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Ban on having sex with people from other households suggested by Carrie Symonds when Boris wasn’t looking

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New lockdown guidance which came into force yesterday and restricts individuals from different households sleeping together was suggested by the Prime Minister’s fiancée, it has emerged.

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Donald Trump vows to end riots over killing of unarmed black man, by having the military to shoot at unarmed black men

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Donald Trump has vowed to bring an end to large scale protests and rioting across America over the police killing of an unarmed black man, by bringing in heavily armed military to shoot at unarmed black men.

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US police under fire after being accused of cultural appropriation of Hong Kong police

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Police departments across the United States have come under heavy criticism tonight after several law enforcement agencies were accused of culturally appropriating the Hong Kong Police in their brutal handling of the on-going George Floyd protests.

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