Politics

Trump condemns audience for chanting ‘send her back’ not ‘send them back’

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Donald Trump, US President and twice winner of the coveted Racist Sex-Pest of the Year award, has condemned the audience at one of his recent fascist rallies for chanting ‘send her back’ when they should have been chanting ‘send them back.’

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Furious Labour supporters slam 1987 edition of Top of the Pops for ‘anti-Corbyn bias’

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Supporters of Labour have launched a furious attack on the BBC for a 1987 episode of Top of the Pops which, they say, displayed a clear anti-Corbyn bias.

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FaceApp preparing citizens for their appearance in event of no-deal Brexit

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A photo app that shows users what they’ll look like when they’re frail and haggard is actually designed to prepare British people for the hardships of no deal.

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Randy haunted haystack still somehow hurtling towards Downing Street

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Boris Johnson is still on course to become the next Prime Minister, for some unfathomable reason.

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Furious KKK sues Donald Trump for copyright infringement

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The Ku Klux Klan, a white supremacist organisation for people whose family tree is a bamboo, has filed a lawsuit against the US President citing the blatant theft of their intellectual property and accusing him of plagiarising their chants and copying their rallies.

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Brexiters left furious as parliamentary sovereignty stops parliament getting its sovereignty back

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Brexiters across the nation are furious this afternoon after learning that the sovereignty of parliament could be used to prevent the country from getting back the sovereignty it so desperately needs.

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Man castrated and hounded to suicide by government ‘happy’ to be on fifty-pound note

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It is reported that the corpse of Alan Turing, a man who took his own life after being castrated by the government, is ‘happy’ to be chosen to appear on the new fifty-pound note.

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Boris Johnson finally acknowledged as a great statesman after waving kipper around

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Boris Johnson has finally shed his global image, of a gaffe-prone dilettante whose utter contempt for the rest of humanity meant he didn’t care that people saw him a buffoon, by brandishing a smoked fish above his head during a speech.

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PM’s final speech warns of dangerous political climate she helped create

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Theresa May has issued a stark warning against the politics of absolutism, which she has done absolutely nothing to prevent.

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World completely accepts Donald Trump is not racist following his clever declaration that he isn’t

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In a brilliant and innovative political manoeuvre, statesman and leader Donald Trump has put to rest the idea that he is racist by openly saying that he isn’t, resulting in everybody taking his word at face value and moving away from the controversy.

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