Politics

Global leaders announce plans to hope climate catastrophe sorts itself out

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In response to huge climate protests around the world, leaders from all nations have announced plans to hope it all sorts itself out.

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Oompa Loompa community in uproar after more photos emerge of Donald Trump wearing ‘orangeface’

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The Oompa Loompa community have responded in anger after yet more photos of an ‘oranged up’ Donald Trump have emerged.

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Shock new David Cameron claim: ‘I could have shagged the Queen’

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There was another shocking revelation about David Cameron’s relationship with the Queen as last night’s documentary about his time in office revealed he believed she ‘fancied him’ and was ‘definitely up for a shag’.

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Britain successfully leaves EU with a deal and six weeks to spare, according to Boris

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Britain has left the EU and everything is now fine, according to Boris Johnson this afternoon.

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Queen “thoroughly f*cked off” confirms Palace

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David Cameron has annoyed the Queen with his loose lips once again.

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Media confirms the parents of sick children must announce their political affiliations before anyone listens to their concerns

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The media has spoken out regarding the incident involving Boris Johnson’s denial of reality in a London hospital yesterday, insisting that the concerned parents of sick children should only be allowed to address the prime minister once we know their voting history.

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Boris Johnson to tour country in big red bus with ‘There’s no press here’ on the side

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The Prime Minister has realised that blatant lies only really work when written on the side of a large red vehicle.

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President of Supreme Court did A-Level French and so is clearly biased, says appalled Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has discovered that all the judges of the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom are disgusting deviants who love foreign ways.

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I’ll be whatever you want me to be, teases a flirtatious Jeremy Corbyn

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Jeremy Corbyn has once again proved a delightfully alluring little creature when he responded to a direct question, over what side he would support in a second Brexit referendum, by lasciviously saying he’ll let you decide before reclining on a couch and biting his lower lip.

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Luxembourg PM says that if you come to his gaff and give it lip then you’re going to get a slapping

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Xavier Bettel, Prime Minister of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg and a lad who can handle himself, told journalists that his treatment of Boris Johnson might seem a bit OTT but you should only come east of the Alzette if you’re proper tasty and not a gobby muppet.

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