Science

Man seemingly determined to out himself as ignorant simpleton after posting chemtrail conspiracy theory

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A man has this morning decided to publicly out himself as a low-information simpleton by pointing at the sky and loudly shouting ‘chemtrails’.

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Man joins Manchester Airport check-in queue for summer holiday in August

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A man has joined the check in queue at Manchester Airport today for his upcoming summer holiday in August. 

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Asteroid survives near miss with moron-infested planet

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Asteroid 2022 GN1 has dramatically survived a near-miss with ‘Earth’, a planet well-known for carrying dangerously high levels of morons. The planet apparently came within 127,000 kilometres of the building-sized asteroid, which is merely a hair’s breadth in cosmic terms. Planetary expert Simon Williams explained, “It’s a lucky escape for asteroid 2022 GN1, certainly. Planet Earth is […]

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Opinion: I will not stay at home in fear of a storm that 99.999% of the population will survive

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The mainstream media has been too quick to buy into the fear narrative of the so-called experts, and no one is focussing on the fact that Storm Eunice is incredibly unlikely to kill you.

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Scientists confirm it’s only been six weeks since Christmas

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Scientists have confirmed the shocking news that it’s actually only been six weeks since Christmas rather than, as many people have assumed, 4-5 months.

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Scientific advances mean Michael Gove may soon be able to f*ck off enough

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For many years now, it has been assumed that it was physically impossible for Michael Gove to ever actually fuck off enough, but thanks to a new scientific advance in fucking off he could actually fuck off enough before the end of the year.

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Bruce Willis spotted aboard Nasa Dart rocket holding industrial sized drilling equipment

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Bruce Willis was spotted aboard Nasa’s Dart rocket it has been revealed today, holding some large industrial-sized drilling equipment along with a group of other misfits as it blasted off from the earth.

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‘I just make most of this stuff up to be honest’ admits Professor Brian Cox

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Professor Brian Cox has revealed today that he ‘just tends to make shit up’ when it comes to massive numbers and facts about the universe. Speaking about his popular BBC documentary Universe, Professor Cox, who is actually a musician and does physics for a laugh revealed most of the ‘facts’ and information in the programme […]

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COP26 rebrands ‘Climate Change’ as ‘Naked Climate Change’ to promote greater climate engagement

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The COP26 delegates have agreed to a radical new proposal to rebrand ‘Climate Change’ as ‘Naked Climate Change’ in order to generate greater public interest.

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Man who crept into Mike Graham’s garden to replace small lump of concrete with slightly larger one every time it rained nominated for Turner Prize

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After Mike Graham humiliated himself on Talk Radio yesterday by claiming that concrete ‘grows’ as an alternative to trees, the man responsible has claimed it was all part of an elaborate art installation.

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