UK Spoof News and Satire

Science

NASA to lose no claims discount after crashing into asteroid

American Space Agency NASA will be looking at increased insurance premiums after losing its no claims discount following a collision into an asteroid this week.

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Scientists urged to divert attention away from space exploration to create pillow that stays cool all night

Scientists have been urged to put their brainpower to something more critical than the long-term survival of the human race and to solve the mystery of the pillow that won’t stay cool during the night.

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Oh you like the James Webb Space Telescope? Fine, name three of its spectrographic analyses of exoplanet atmospheres

There’s a simple wonder and joy from observing the depths of time and reality and contemplating your place in the infinite vastness of creation, and I’m damned if I’m going to let you just enjoy it.

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Large Hadron Collider reactivated to search for Piers Morgan’s viewing figures

The world’s most powerful device for finding infinitesimally small things has been switched on to help in the search for the audience for Piers Morgan’s TalkTV show.

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Man seemingly determined to out himself as ignorant simpleton after posting chemtrail conspiracy theory

A man has this morning decided to publicly out himself as a low-information simpleton by pointing at the sky and loudly shouting ‘chemtrails’.

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Man joins Manchester Airport check-in queue for summer holiday in August

A man has joined the check in queue at Manchester Airport today for his upcoming summer holiday in August.

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Asteroid survives near miss with moron-infested planet

Asteroid 2022 GN1 has dramatically survived a near-miss with ‘Earth’, a planet well-known for carrying dangerously high levels of morons. The planet apparently came within 127,000 kilometres of the building-sized asteroid, which is merely a hair’s breadth in cosmic terms. Planetary expert Simon Williams explained, “It’s a lucky escape for asteroid 2022 GN1, certainly. Planet Earth is […]

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