Science

Weather to remain a bit inbetweeny for at least another week

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Weather forecasters are predicting that the weather will continue being a bit inbetweeny for at least another week.

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Blue Origin crew concerned by new uniforms ahead of Shatner space flight

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New uniforms issued to the crew of Amazon’s Blue Origin rocket have led to concerns being expressed about what Jeff Bezos thinks might be going to happen.

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Pro-vaxxer who caught Covid found alive and well

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A prominent pro-vaxxer has today been found alive and well, much to the surprise of absolutely no one with any common sense.

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Man who doesn’t trust vaccines currently swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer he ordered off the Internet

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Reports are emerging of a Covid-denying vaccine sceptic who is swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer that he ordered on the Internet to ward off a disease he doesn’t even think is that serious.

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Standard model of physics to be rewritten after cat breaks speed of light travelling from the settee to an opening fridge door

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Physicists around the world have conceded the standard model is irretrievably broken after local cat Mister Shufflebottom exceeded the speed of light travelling between the sitting room and an opening can of food.

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Vaccine Inventor Barbie’s boyfriend Ken is anti-vax Covid denier

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After a new Barbie doll based on Oxford vaccine creator Dame Sarah Gilbert was revealed, it has emerged that her male equivalent, Ken, is a Covid-denying arsehole.

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Archive footage reveals British inventor reached space thirty years before Bezos and Branson

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The space race between privately-funded businessmen was pre-empted by a single British inventor in the late 1980s, it has emerged.

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Jeff Bezos now resident in space for tax purposes

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Today Amazon Boss Jeff Bezosslipped the surly bonds of Earth’s taxation laws, becoming space’s first tax exile.

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CEO who wanted tax-funded bailout somehow scrapes together enough pennies to go to f*cking SPACE

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Richard Branson has found enough money to dick about in space for a bit, despite asking for a tax-funded bailout last year.

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Hope for millions after scientists isolate gene that makes people think winking is acceptable

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In a breakthrough for humanity, geneticists believe they have found the gene that causes some wretched unfortunates to think that a wink, often accompanied with a quick tilt of the head, is somehow a perfectly reasonable way to communicate with fellow human beings.

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