Science

Nobel Prize for Medicine awarded to infectious disease experts in the Facebook comments

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Today, the Nobel Committee awarded the Nobel Prize for Medicine to all the infectious disease experts who have continuously and selflessly advanced medical research by sharing their knowledge through informed comments and posts on Facebook.

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Brain-eating microbe in US water supply explains a f*cking hell of a lot, insist scientists

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A brain-munching microbe found feasting on the intelligence of ordinary US citizens has sparked fears that that particular horse has already fucking bolted, according to reports.

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Martian tripods successfully conquer Earth after adopting social distancing precautions

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An invasion of planet Earth by hostile Martian invasion forces has been entirely successful, due to the Martians taking sanitary precautions this time.

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Virus that can tell the difference between colleagues and friends continues to baffle scientists

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A virus that can somehow discriminate between business and social interactions continues to mystify the brightest minds in the scientific community.

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Potential life on Venus already eyeing up ‘soft-touch’ UK benefits system, warns Nigel Farage

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Following the discovery of phosphine gas in the atmosphere of Venus, which could indicate life on the planet, Nigel Farage has warned that alien civilisations could already be planning to take advantage of Britain’s “soft-touch” benefits system. Highlighting data from a graph he discovered on the Internet, Brexit Party leader and independent journalist specialising in […]

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Rubik’s Cube impossible, confirms scientist

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After nearly forty years of experimentation and investigation, a scientist has confirmed that it is impossible to solve the Rubik’s Cube.

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Sorry, my aim was a little off, says God after NASA confirms asteroid won’t hit Earth

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An asteroid hurtling towards Earth on the day before the US presidential election will miss us, scientists confirmed over the weekend, prompting a public apology from the Almighty Himself.

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Man who bunked off every science lesson at school insists he’s done ‘all his own research’ on vaccines

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A 35-year-old man who paid zero attention to his science teachers, or the books he was encouraged to read during his admittedly brief time in the formal education system, is today telling everyone he’s done all of his own research on vaccines.

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New Plandemic video actually just a secret plot to identify nation’s gullible simpletons

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A newly released ‘Plandemic’ conspiracy video about the coronavirus and vaccine industry is actually nothing more than a secret plot to identify the nation’s idiots.

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Scientists urged to divert attention away from Coronavirus vaccine to create pillow that stays cool all night

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Scientists have been urged to put their brainpower to something more critical the nation’s well-being than a Coronavirus vaccine and to solve the mystery of the pillow that won’t stay cool during the night.

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