A man is relieved and grateful today after being distracted from the crippling cost of living crisis and looming recession, by the impending third world war.
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Accounts clerk Simon Williams, who was overheard in the kitchen telling a colleague we taking part in #NoNutNovember, has been seen eating nuts this afternoon, according to reports.
A woman has today struggled to contain her jealous rage after witnessing all the loving attention her husband pays to their woodburner.
Cantankerous loudmouths, who furiously berate anyone not wearing a poppy as if they’ve taken a shit on the cenotaph, will spend the next 11 months blissfully skipping by homeless veterans and not giving a toss about military matters or the way soldiers are treated.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
