Business

Woking Pizza Express swift to publicly deny Prince Andrew was ever at any of their parties

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The Woking branch of Pizza Express has been swift to refute accusations that Prince Andrew was or has ever been at any of their parties.

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Venetian gondoliers now offering romantic boat tours of Venice’s historic rooftops

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With floodwaters in Venice now at their highest for fifty years, gondoliers are making the best of the situation by taking tourists on roof-level tours among the historic and picturesque spires, chimneys, and TV aerials of the historic city.

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John Lewis Christmas advert set in Game of Thrones universe

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The new John Lewis advert is set in the same universe as the Game of Thrones, and depicts a time shortly before the events of A Song of Ice and Fire.

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New John Lewis Christmas advert sees ‘Flamethrower’ added to a million Christmas lists

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The new festive John Lewis ad has shown children across the country the fun that can be had by setting fire to things this Christmas.

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Mis-selling of Brexit Party parliamentary candidacies the new PPI, insist cold-calling firms

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Managers of unethical call centres and no-win-no-fee lawyers are jockeying for position and buying up data sets of Brexit Party candidates in the hope they can leech off their compensation claims when the penny finally drops.

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Total bastard organises Friday afternoon meeting

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It has emerged that a total bastard has organised a meeting which you will be compelled to attend later today.

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Facebook becomes FACEBOOK to more closely align with its shoutiest online communities

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Facebook has rebranded as FACEBOOK to ensure those communities that insist on posting in all-caps feel much more at home on the platform.

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Cinema hot dog celebrates eighth anniversary of being put on the griddle

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A cinema hot dog has marked the eighth anniversary of it being taken out of the packaging and put on the rotating griddle to keep it warm and fresh today.

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Government review into £100k grant given to Jennifer Arcuri finds it was fair pay for shagging Boris Johnson

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To the surprise of absolutely no one, a panel of civil servants whose job is to obey their political masters have decided to exonerate of all wrongdoing an extremely ruthless and powerful man who could easily sink their career.

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Furious Britons still unable to purchase bendy bananas

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British shoppers have woken up today to find bendy bananas are still off the menu, according to reports.

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