Business

Woman telling colleagues she ‘can’t wait’ to see them again would happily never see any of them again

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A woman has told her colleagues today that she can’t wait to see them in the office next week as her company begins its gradual return to normality, even though she would be perfectly happy never to see any of them in person ever again.

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Global supply of Hovis threatened as Yorkshire canal blocked

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The global economy faces losses of up to seventy-five pence after a major waterway in Yorkshire was blocked overnight, according to reports.

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Boots ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets to be ready for Christmas

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Boots will be offering ‘mix and match’ vaccine gift sets just in time for Christmas it is revealed today.

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Journalist frantically searching for obituary he wrote in 2002

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A journalist has spent the last hour or so frantically searching for the obituary in wrote in 2002.

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Companies to offer option to pre-report lost parcel if delivery assigned to Yodel

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Companies who use Yodel as their delivery service will now offer customers the chance to pre-report their inevitable lost parcels.

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Mother Nature still deciding what hilarious weather to throw at us when beer gardens finally reopen next week

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Mother nature has been spotted laughing her tits off yet again today whilst trying to decide what type of horrendously bad weather to throw at the nation next week when beer gardens finally reopen in England.

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Wetherspoons reveals their only ‘passport’ requirement will be a crisp £10 note when pubs reopen

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Wetherspoons has revealed today that so-called vaccine passport requirements to enter their establishments will be limited to a nice crisp £10 note and a toothless grin when pubs finally reopen next week.

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Man who lost housekeeping money gambling online delighted to hear bookmaker boss earned £469m last year

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A local man has spoken of his relief that losing the housekeeping money gambling online hasn’t stopped the boss of Bet365 making £469m last year.

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Amazon launch new portable bathroom range for busy employees

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Stung by criticism about staff having to relieve themselves into bottles as they don’t get enough time off to even visit a lavatory, Amazon has released a new own-brand range of portable bathroom utensils to help workers ‘on the job whilst on the job’.

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You must go back to commuting to a proper office, insists man whose proper office is in his house

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Chancellor Rishi Sunak is today insisting that workers will likely quit if they are not forced to go back to commuting on the nations crumbling infrastructure to sit in a poorly lit office for eight hours a day, instead of being allowed to work from home.

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