World

Bond producers reassure fans that 007 will always be a violent misogynist

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The producers of the James Bond films have confirmed that the secret agent will continue to behave abhorrently towards women.

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Countries to step up efforts to blame different countries for climate crisis

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In the wake of David Attenborough’s plea to address the climate crisis, countries have stepped up efforts to blame different countries for the situation the planet finds itself in.

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Prince Harry granted custody of Sussex at weekends

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The queen has agreed to allow Prince Harry to use Sussex at weekends and bank holidays after a tense meeting this afternoon.

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Farewell to a king

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Neil Peart, the ‘drummer’s drummer’ of rock band Rush, has died aged 67.

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“Epstein’s prison CCTV file erased itself” confirm US prosecutors

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CCTV footage from Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell has mysteriously disappeared because of course it has.

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Rogue state with despotic leader and alleged nuclear capabilities convinced Iran won’t retaliate further

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A rogue state with alleged nuclear capabilities and a crazed despot for a leader appears to believe Iran won’t retaliate further after killing a military general in a drone strike.

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Iran pledges to kill thousands of Americans by opening gun stores across the Midwest

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The notorious middle-east country Iran has announced a plan to kill thousands of Americans by opening gun stores across the midwest and selling firearms at discount prices.

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Donald Trump clarifies that a ‘cultural site’ is one of the rooms where he keep his old Playboys

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US President Donald Trump has clarified his threat to Iranian cultural sites, insisting he thought he was referring to the place the Ayatollah keeps his bongo mags.

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‘A war in Johnny Muslimland? Don’t panic, I’ve got this’ says Boris

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Actual, not-a-joke Prime Minister Boris Johnson has issued a statement to reassure the British people regarding events in Iran.

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Donald Trump crosses ‘start unwinnable war’ off New Year resolution List

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Donald Trump yesterday used his favourite sharpie pen to cross ‘Start unwinnable war’ off of his list of New Year resolutions.

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