World

“I refuse to be drenched in anything other than hooker piss” confirms Trump

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If it’s not urine, it’s not worth it, according to the President of the United States.

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Stan Lee takes up permanent cameo in a billion grateful imaginations

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Stan Lee has died aged 95, taking up his final role in the imaginations of a billion grateful comic book fans whose lives have been immeasurably enriched by his creations.

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Theresa May hit by colossal metaphor as she is involved in car crash in Belgium

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Theresa May has been hit by a gigantic metaphor whilst travelling along what she had been told by advisors would be an easy road through Europe.

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White shooter was “Lonely, misunderstood, mentally ill and such and such”

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A shooter has been given the usual adjectives reserved for white perpetrators of mass murder.

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Hopes remain high that White House intern will walk again after brutal Jim Acosta attack

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The White House has issued a statement saying it is hopeful that a young intern will walk again after the savage and brutal attack she suffered from veteran CNN reporter Jim Acosta.

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You can keep your thoughts and prayers because you could fix this yourself, God tells America

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God has rejected America’s latest set of thoughts and prayers following the latest mass shooting, this time in California, telling them he doesn’t grant prayers for things you can easily fix yourself.

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White House Journalist banned for touching woman’s arm by man who prefers full-on minge contact

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Journalist, Jim Acosta, is quietly wishing he’d been a bit more respectful towards women this morning after a bout of disgraceful arm contact resulted in him being barred from the White House.

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President Trump building massive wall around White House to keep out reporters

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Donald Trump has initiated the construction of a big wall around the White House perimeter with the aim of keeping out all those nasty unwanted journalists.

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White House staff club together and buy Trump a new house to replace the one he just lost

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Although the President lost one House overnight, well-meaning friends in the White House have bought him a new one so he doesn’t feel too down today.

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Donald Trump denies Republicans ever ran for any House seats

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Donald Trump has denied that his Republican party were beaten in a race to control the House of Representatives, calling claims they even fielded any candidates ‘fake news’.

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