World

Donald Trump bans Indiana Jones franchise after learning of its anti-fascist themes

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President Donald Trump has moved to ban the Indiana Jones franchise from all American streaming services after being told the main protagonist is well-known for anti-fascist violence.

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Hollywood celebrities already working on terrible cover of ‘Killing In The Name’

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Gal Gadot and her celebrity friends are working on a follow-up to their immensely popular cover of ‘Imagine’, it has emerged.

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CNN reports Martin Luther King died of Type 2 Diabetes in addition to a bullet in the head

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Uppity Civil Rights campaigner, Martin Luther King, would most likely be fit and walking around today were it not for the late-onset diabetes that ravaged the 39-year-old gun victim’s body.

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US police pledge to redress balance by killing more innocent white people

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US police are to make a concerted effort to reduce the proportion of innocent black people killed in police incidents by increasing the number of innocent white people they kill.

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Hong Kong protestors considering inviting Dominic Cummings for visit so people might start giving a shit about them again

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Thousands of Hong Kong protestors have come together to formulate a new plan to invite UK APM (Actual Prime Minister), Dominic Cummings, to a tour of the city, in an effort to attract international attention to its plight.

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Man who lives in a compound with a basement full of guns says he won’t live in fear

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Local survivalist and doomsday prepper Simon-Bob Williams refuses to live his life in fear, it has emerged.

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Twitter replaces Donald Trump’s blue tick with skull and crossbones in yellow triangle

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Donald Trump’s Twitter account has been verified by the platform as being chock full of hazardous material.

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President Trump considering adopting the Purge

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Donald Trump is said to be considering the adoption of the practice of the Purge, a night in which all crime is made legal.

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Man who loves free speech really unhappy when people use it to disagree with him

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A man who makes a really big deal about how important he thinks free speech is, continues to have a massive hissy fit if anyone uses theirs to call out his bullshit, it has emerged.

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Donald Trump furious as 100,000 dead Americans distract from the sweet birdie he got at the 14th hole

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The pugnacious president has once again taken to Twitter so as to lambaste the press for making a big fuss about COVID-19 killing 100,000 Americans and not even mentioning his amazing skill with a wedge that allowed him to shoot a personal best at his Virginia golf course.

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