World

I was at Pizza Express in Woking when Alderaan was destroyed, claims Grand Moff Tarkin

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In a sensational TV interview, Grand Moff Tarkin, a leading light in the former Galactic Empire, has claimed that he could not be responsible for the destruction of Alderaan because he was at a children’s party at the Pizza Express in Woking.

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Completely innocent man rues accidentally surrounding himself with criminals

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Completely innocent President of the United States Donald Trump has once again been left surprised at the fact one of his closest advisers has been found guilty on several federal charges.

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Venetian gondoliers now offering romantic boat tours of Venice’s historic rooftops

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With floodwaters in Venice now at their highest for fifty years, gondoliers are making the best of the situation by taking tourists on roof-level tours among the historic and picturesque spires, chimneys, and TV aerials of the historic city.

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World leaders confident they will be able to ignore climate study endorsed by 11,000 scientists

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World leaders led by Donald Trump are confident they will be able to successfully ignore a new study that declares Climate change to be a ‘clear and unequivocal’ emergency.

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Furious Britons still unable to purchase bendy bananas

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British shoppers have woken up today to find bendy bananas are still off the menu, according to reports.

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Hero dog releases photo wearing ‘Impeach Trump’ badge

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The hero dog involved in the killing of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has released a photo of himself wearing an ‘impeach trump’ badge.

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Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi left hugely disappointed by quality of virgins

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Recently deceased former ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is said to be furious about the quality of virgins he has been given in the afterlife, also insisting that his new home is a little on the hot side.

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Donald Trump offered al-Baghdadi immunity in return for dirt on Joe Biden

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Self-styled ‘President’ Donald J. Trump offered IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi complete immunity from his abject crimes against humanity in return for a bit of dirt on Joe Biden.

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Donald Trump confirms he personally killed al-Baghdadi with his own bare hands

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President Trump has revealed that he killed Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi with his own bare hands during a raid on the IS leader’s compound.

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Donald Trump relieved to finally do something nearly – but not quite – as cool as that time Obama killed Bin Laden

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As the White House confirmed that a US-led operation has killed ISIS leader Abubakkar al Bagdhadi, supporters of  President Trump have expressed their relief that he has finally achieved something nearly – but not quite – as good as the achievements of Barack Obama.

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