World

Thrice-married man who cheated on post-natal third wife with a porn star offers Prince Harry marriage advice

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Donald Trump has decided to offer Prince Harry some marriage advice, given he’s done it so many times himself.

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China aims to be zero-carbon by 2060 and zero-Uyghur by 2030

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Chinese President Xi Jinping has made the shock announcement that by 2060 China will no longer contribute to the world’s carbon emissions – and that by 2030 it will no longer contribute to the world’s Uyghur population.

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Donald Trump hoping Conservative dominated Supreme Court could reopen debate around women’s right to choose not to have their pussy’s grabbed

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Donald Trump is hoping the opportunity to skew the Supreme Court in the favour of Conservatives could reopen the debate around a woman’s right to choose not to have her genitals grabbed by an elderly celebrity.

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Joe Biden left in tears following harsh remarks by his political hero, Iain Duncan-Smith

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The pollster’s favourite to be the next person with the most powerful job in the world is said to be crestfallen after the legendary statesman and globally renowned political sage Iain Duncan-Smith criticised his comments on the Good Friday Agreement and Brexit.

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Trump campaign releases photo from President’s most recent medical examination

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A new photo has been released by the Donald Trump re-election campaign showing the President undergoing his most recent medical examination.

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Man criticising government over breaking international law surprisingly forgetful about time his government broke international law

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Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has weighed in this week in the on-going Brexit row by calling the behaviour of the current government embarrassing and ‘shameful’ for breaking international law, despite having shamefully broken international law himself with an apparent illegal war in Iraq.

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Man who said he could stand on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone without consequence nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

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Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, because of course he has.

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Nation hopeful as idiot prime minister appoints dickhead trade advisor to secure trade deal with moron President

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As Boris Johnson appointed Tony Abbott to help secure trade deals with people like Donald Trump, the entire country has asked ‘what’s the worst that could possibly happen’.

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Shortage of homegrown twats forces government to look abroad

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Following the appointment of former Australian PM Tony Abbott as a trade adviser, a senior Conservative Party source has expressed concerns about the quality of Britain’s current crop of morally delinquent arseholes.

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Russian government making list of lovely cathedrals in Siberia to explain Navalny poisoning

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As German doctors tried to save the life of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, the Kremlin has been put under strong international pressure to find a religious landmark its agents could claim to be visiting around the same time Putin’s rival was poisoned.

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