British right-wing radio hosts, and other people who frequently mention they have black friends, have fiercely criticised the new US president for not displaying slavish devotion to British symbols as if he was better than us or something.
The Prime Minister has stated it was time to move beyond the toadying he displayed for Donald Trump and that he was keen to grovel pathetically for a brand new president so as to maintain the cringe-inducing servility that the UK somehow thinks is a foreign policy.
The Inauguration of Joe Biden took place yesterday in Washington DC, and was a largely celebratory affair with many hailing it as a return to normality for US politics.
Online ‘comedy’ writers who for some reason pretend to their friends and family that they are genuine satirists are struggling to write about the new US President, it has emerged.
Despite him no longer being President, Donald Trump’s secret service detail have yet to notice any changes to the former President’s routine after he spent the day on the golf course.
In what White House officials are calling an “unexpected but historic” incident, Joe Biden has accidentally married Chief Justice John Roberts after ad-libbing the presidential oath.
We at NewsThump have spent a lot of the last four years laying into Donald Trump, but on this last day of his presidency, we pause to reflect on all the positive achievements that he did accomplish, listed below.
The White House housekeeping team is this morning celebrating their final visit to the onsite incinerator to dispose of yet another pillow that is entirely beyond repair.
On his last day in office Donald Trump, President and halfwit, will issue a number of Presidential pardons to a variety of close friends including General Zod, The Borg and Skeletor.