Technology

Woman distraught as Facebook ‘suggested post’ is Asda advert

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A woman has been left angry and upset after coming across a ‘suggested post’ of an advert for Asda whilst scrolling through her Facebook feed.

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I’m not taking some microchipped vaccine so Bill Gates can monitor me, says man glued to GPS-enabled 4G-capable camera and microphone

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A man has revealed today that he will not be tracked by taking Bill Gates’ microchipped coronavirus vaccine when it is eventually released, after reading about it on his GPS-enabled 4G-capable device equipped with a high-definition camera and microphone.

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Cyclist repeatedly fails Captcha test after failing to identify images with traffic lights

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Local cyclist Simon Williams has failed to access his favourite website this morning after it asked him to identify which images of a street contained traffic lights.

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New podcast ‘Comedians Remember Things’ features comedians remembering things

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A new podcast called ‘Comedians Remember Things’ has been announced that will feature a variety of different comedians remembering something then remembering something else.

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Surgeons celebrate as investment banker fitted with world’s first artificial conscience

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British surgeons are celebrating a major breakthrough in medical science after successfully fitting an investment banker with the world’s first artificial conscience.

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Evidence growing that Russian hackers may be responsible for Tuesdays

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There is growing evidence that Russian hackers could be responsible for Tuesdays.

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More than 50% of people on Internet comments threads fail the Turing test

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It’s impossible to tell the difference between most people on the Internet and a very sweary robot, researchers have confirmed.

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Woman slams dramas available on ‘Zoom’ for poor plot and effects

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A woman has taken to social media to express her disappointment with the films available on popular new video app – Zoom.

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Britain offers sanctuary to Martians after China launches mission to red planet

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The British government has announced it will offer sanctuary and a route to citizenship after China launched its first mission to the Red Planet today.

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Middle-aged man urgently reassures his 78 followers that his Twitter account was not hacked

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Derek Williams, an opinionated retiree who likes to comment on Brexit and bad cyclists, has spent hours telling his followers that he had been spared the Twitter hack that took over the accounts of people like Barack Obama and Elon Musk to scam thousands of dollars.

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