Technology

Facebook ‘Doppelganger challenge’ brings record usage of phrase “Pfft yeah OK mate”

Thumbnail image for Facebook ‘Doppelganger challenge’ brings record usage of phrase “Pfft yeah OK mate”

Everyone on Facebook is being a little bit bullshitty about who they’ve been told they look like, according to reports this afternoon.

Read the full article →

World’s bellends demand instant vaccine as Coronavirus hits iPhone production

Thumbnail image for World’s bellends demand instant vaccine as Coronavirus hits iPhone production

Planet Earth’s dickheads have demanded an instant vaccine against that Covid-19 thing as it emerged that a deceased Chinese workforce could substantially delay the rollout of the new iPhone.

Read the full article →

Met Office hoping that £1.2 billion investment in new supercomputer delivers more than ’42’

Thumbnail image for Met Office hoping that £1.2 billion investment in new supercomputer delivers more than ’42’

The Met Office will be hoping for something considerably more tangible than “42” after newly appointed business secretary, Alok Sharma, announced a spend of £1.2 billion pounds on a new weather supercomputer.

Read the full article →

Twitter ban sees Katie Hopkins forced to go door-to-door spreading hate

Thumbnail image for Twitter ban sees Katie Hopkins forced to go door-to-door spreading hate

Professional moron-agitator Katie Hopkins has been forced to go door-to-door spreading her particular brand of hate after having her Twitter account suspended.

Read the full article →

UK to grant 5G construction contract to ISIS

Thumbnail image for UK to grant 5G construction contract to ISIS

The UK has announced that leading terrorist scumbags ISIS will be part of the team of companies who will build the UK’s 5G network.

Read the full article →

“Epstein’s prison CCTV file erased itself” confirm US prosecutors

Thumbnail image for “Epstein’s prison CCTV file erased itself” confirm US prosecutors

CCTV footage from Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell has mysteriously disappeared because of course it has.

Read the full article →

New power station to be powered by Bram Stoker spinning in his grave

Thumbnail image for New power station to be powered by Bram Stoker spinning in his grave

Britain is expected to achieve its zero-carbon targets almost thirty years early after Bram Stoker was discovered to be spinning in his grave at over 72,000 rpm overnight.

Read the full article →

Mandalorian bitterly regretting feeding baby Yoda after midnight

Thumbnail image for Mandalorian bitterly regretting feeding baby Yoda after midnight

Letting that adorable little gremlin have a cup of soup after midnight has turned out to be a serious mistake, the Mandalorian has grudgingly admitted today.

Read the full article →

HG Wells builds time machine so he can punch whoever was responsible for that adaptation of War of the Worlds

Thumbnail image for HG Wells builds time machine so he can punch whoever was responsible for that adaptation of War of the Worlds

Popular Edwardian novelist and inventor of the concept of Time Travel Herbert George Wells has appeared in central London this morning, intending to punch whoever made the BBC adaptation of War of the Worlds squarely on the nose.

Read the full article →

Three months wasn’t long enough, claims man who couldn’t register to vote at 11:55pm

Thumbnail image for Three months wasn’t long enough, claims man who couldn’t register to vote at 11:55pm

Voter Simon Williams has criticised the government for having a voter registration website that doesn’t cater for the extremely disorganised.

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries