Technology

Internet determined to sell man earwax-removal products

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The Internet remains determined to sell a man earwax-removal products despite a seeming lack of interest from the man.

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Steve Davis banned from Parler for years of extremely moderate views

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Former snooker world champion Steve Davis has been banned from Parler after years of extremely boring, moderate, non-inciting views.

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Twitter wastes no time in suspending Trump after only 1449 days of hate-speech and harmful fake news

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Popular social media hellscape Twitter has wasted no time in addressing Donald Trump’s use of the platform to spread hate, far-right misinformation and incite a failed armed insurrection by leaping into action and suspending his account just 1449 short days after he started.

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Woman looking suspiciously like Donald Trump opens hateful, conspiracy-filled Twitter account

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A woman with a profile picture that looks suspiciously like a FaceApp’d gender swap of Donald Trump has opened a Twitter account and started angrily spewing lies about the election.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg joins parliament via video call from the billiard room

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has been sure not to miss a day’s work.

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Man still not entirely sure which light switch to press in his own home

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Putting two or more light switches on the same panel will keep homeowners confused for decades, according to a new study.

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Donald Trump presents Schrodinger’s evidence – simultaneously ‘overwhelming’ and ‘not enough to convince a single judge’

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The evidence proving massive fraud in the US election exists in a binary state depending on whether it’s being looked at by a Trump cult member on the Internet or an actual judge in a court of law, physicists have confirmed.

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Hotmail users take a break from deleting hundreds of spam emails to laugh at Gmail users

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The handful of people who still use Microsoft Hotmail are today feeling smug, according to reports.

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First UK vaccine recipient appears on Bill Gates’ mass surveillance system

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The first UK recipient of the Pfizer Covid vaccine has successfully popped up on Bill Gates’ universal monitoring system after a few minor glitches.

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Twitter man finds Tess Daly attractive

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An Essex man has taken to Twitter in order to alert the popular presenter Tess Daly to the fact that he finds her attractive.

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