Technology

Perseverance rover devastated as first selfie gets only 17 likes

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Nasa’s Perseverance rover has suffered a major dent in its confidence today following news that the first selfie taken by the craft received only 17 likes on Instagram within the first 2 hours of posting.

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‘Vaccine passports infringe my right to privacy’ insists man whose wife knows less about him than Facebook

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Facebook user Simon Williams is today bemoaning vaccine passports as a huge affront to his right to privacy and is using his Facebook profile where everything is set to ‘public’ to do it.

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Internet Explorer gets up early to buy Easter eggs for its family

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Internet Explorer is off to buy Easter eggs two days after the fact.

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Google Maps to start showing ‘scenic’ routes which are just a bit less shit

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Google Maps is to start directing drivers to routes which it calculates are just a little bit more ‘scenic’ based on a list of factors it is revealed today.

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Facebook memories about to remind you of the moment you stopped being happy

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The Facebook ‘memories’ feature is getting ready to remind everyone of that moment 12 months ago when everyone stopped being happy in life.

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Ten libellous statements about Mark Zuckerberg that he’ll never see as his algorithms have crippled satire

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We can write whatever we like as only about five people will end up reading this article thanks to Facebook’s algorithms, it has emerged.

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Apple promise next software update will fix all the issues with the ducking autocorrect

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Technology giant Apple has promised that all the annoyances with the ducking autocorrect will be addressed in the next update.

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Alexa finally loses her shit and demands a ‘f*cking please’

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Amazon’s Alexa has finally lost her shit today and demanded a ‘fucking please’ after years of verbal abuse at the hands of its ungrateful owners.

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Netflix membership fees to increase by 50p for each household sharing the account

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Netflix membership fees are set to increase by £2 per month from March for a premium account, equating to an inflation-busting 50p per household for the usual four households all sharing the same account.

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Facebook confident that no-one in Australia has ever heard of a browser

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The machiavellian strategists at Facebook have delivered a killer blow to the Australian government’s plan to make internet giants pay for shared media, by ensuring no one in the antipodean nation can access news unless they somehow know about the existence of websites.

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