Technology

Jet engine developers condemned for potentially bringing Australians ‘within four hours of the UK’

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There has been widespread outcry across Britain over the weekend, following an announcement that a super-fast engine, which could reduce flight times between Sydney and London to around four hours, is due to undergo key tests.

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Facebook promises their latest update means you’ll see even less of the stuff you actually follow

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Mark Zuckerberg has told Facebook users that new improvements to the popular social media platform will mean they see ‘even less’ of the stuff they’ve actually said they want.

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Facebook outage forces entire nation to descend into state of mass productivity

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After social networking site Facebook went off-line yesterday afternoon, the nation’s workers descended into what experts are calling a ‘terrifying frenzy of productivity’.

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Tesla announce urgent recall of Elon Musk

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Tesla Motors has announced an urgent recall of its popular ‘Elon Musk’ model, saying it is brilliantly engineered but fundamentally flawed and needs work.

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Tommy Robinson forced to go door-to-door to talk about Muslim grooming gangs

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As Facebook finally banned Tommy Robinson from their platform, Britain’s finest moron-baiter has been forced to start selling his special brand of race hate door-to-door.

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Mars rover Opportunity’s last words were “suck it, nerds”

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The Mars rover, known as Opportunity, has sent its last message.

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Vladimir Putin announced as new Facebook news regulator

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Vladimir Putin has been revealed as the newly appointed news regulator for tech giant Facebook.

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Mother wants to know if you’re OK after seeing all those strange memes you’re sharing

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Your mother is worried about you, according to reports this afternoon.

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Hard Brexit ministers unsure why Theresa May suddenly so keen to call them via FaceTime

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Cabinet ministers and MPs who are publicly supporting a hard Brexit were surprised to wake to a flurry of FaceTime calls from the struggling prime minister this morning.

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Chinese probe to dark side of the moon accidentally lands on Decepticon base

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Megatron and the rest of the Decepticons are ‘royally hacked off’ after a Chinese moon-probe landed slap bang on top of their secret base, we can reveal.

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