Technology

New Donald Trump ‘communications’ platform just shouting

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Ex-President and Current-Bozo Donald Trump’s much-touted new ‘communications’ platform has finally been unveiled and, as expected, is just shouting.

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Bill Gates and wife to divorce after she discovers his massive 5G surveillance lab

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Bill Gates and his wife Melinda are running on separate platforms as of this morning, according to reports.

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Audi and BMW in desperate battle to release most arrogant self-driving vehicle

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Audi and BMW have entered a fierce battle it has emerged, over who can release the most arrogant and obnoxious self-driving vehicle.

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Social media trolls bravely defy Premier League boycott to remain unlikeable cretinous arseholes

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Trolls across social media are today bravely going about their business of making the world a slightly worse place, despite the Premier League’s planned boycott of social media channels.

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Perseverance rover devastated as first selfie gets only 17 likes

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Nasa’s Perseverance rover has suffered a major dent in its confidence today following news that the first selfie taken by the craft received only 17 likes on Instagram within the first 2 hours of posting.

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‘Vaccine passports infringe my right to privacy’ insists man whose wife knows less about him than Facebook

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Facebook user Simon Williams is today bemoaning vaccine passports as a huge affront to his right to privacy and is using his Facebook profile where everything is set to ‘public’ to do it.

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Internet Explorer gets up early to buy Easter eggs for its family

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Internet Explorer is off to buy Easter eggs two days after the fact.

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Google Maps to start showing ‘scenic’ routes which are just a bit less shit

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Google Maps is to start directing drivers to routes which it calculates are just a little bit more ‘scenic’ based on a list of factors it is revealed today.

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Facebook memories about to remind you of the moment you stopped being happy

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The Facebook ‘memories’ feature is getting ready to remind everyone of that moment 12 months ago when everyone stopped being happy in life.

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Ten libellous statements about Mark Zuckerberg that he’ll never see as his algorithms have crippled satire

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We can write whatever we like as only about five people will end up reading this article thanks to Facebook’s algorithms, it has emerged.

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