Technology

Man can’t wait to get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone, watching them later

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A man has revealed that he is really looking forward to the live scene starting up again so he can get back to going to gigs, filming them on his phone and then watching them again later when he gets home and goes to bed.

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Twitter controversy after man logs on to Twitter to announce he will not be on Twitter

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There was a storm on Twitter after Chelmsford man Simon Williams alerted fellow users that he would not be on Twitter by logging on to Twitter and tweeting that he wouldn’t be on Twitter.

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“Grand Theft Auto: Kettering” to bring gritty sense of boredom to the series

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The latest instalment of Grand Theft Auto is to be set in the Northamptonshire town of Kettering.

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Man who hates awkward virtual meetings realises they’re much better than awkward ‘actual’ meetings

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As awful as online meetings are, a man has decided that he’d rather sit through yet another awkward Zoom call than endure the horror of face to face interaction.

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One acting like a complete dickhead after Zero comes out as non-binary

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There was friction among computer processor instructions after the digit Zero announced they rejected the premise that people needed to choose one of two gender social constructs and their colleague One suddenly became arsey and tried to make the news about him.

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Weather app about as trustworthy as Boris Johnson

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The weather app on your phone appears to be telling you what you want to hear, rather than what you should be hearing, according to reports this afternoon.

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Bitcoin buyers lose a fortune after being scammed by both real and fake Elon Musks

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It is now impossible to tell the difference between Elon Musk’s Twitter account and bitcoin scammers pretending to be Elon Musk’s Twitter account, according to reports today.

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Compulsory microchipping of cats is clearly a trial run for the rest of us, insists deranged simpleton

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After the government announced plans to make it compulsory to microchip your cat, gullible simpletons have seen the news as confirmation that we will be next in the government’s plans for uninterrupted state surveillance.

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Of course you can inject a microchip into my neck, insists cat just waiting for perfect opportunity to strike

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A disingenuous feline has lulled his unsuspecting owner into a false sense of security over the proposed implanting of an electronic chip in his neck ahead of new government regulations.

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New Donald Trump ‘communications’ platform just shouting

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Ex-President and Current-Bozo Donald Trump’s much-touted new ‘communications’ platform has finally been unveiled and, as expected, is just shouting.

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