Technology

Moon astronauts will be self-employed and have to provide their own rockets, says Jeff Bezos

Thumbnail image for Moon astronauts will be self-employed and have to provide their own rockets, says Jeff Bezos

The boss of Amazon has reassured shareholders that his vision to return men to the moon will not usher in new humane HR procedures for the global delivery giant, as astronauts will be considered contractors and have to bring their own oxygen.

Read the full article →

Man makes pathetic joke funny by adding three crying with laughter emojis

Thumbnail image for Man makes pathetic joke funny by adding three crying with laughter emojis

A man on the Internet has made a frankly pathetic attempt at a jibe hilarious by added three ‘crying with laughter’ emojis, according to reports today.

Read the full article →

Chinese government insists it will be keen to talk again about Huawei after Brexit

Thumbnail image for Chinese government insists it will be keen to talk again about Huawei after Brexit

Following the leak of high-level cabinet discussions, about limiting Huawei’s access to the UK’s future 5G network, the authorities in Beijing have said they were not upset and would love to discuss the topic again once Britain is a freebooting nation free from the shackles of a hugely influential trading block.

Read the full article →

Israel fires spacecraft at the moon after alleging someone there threw stones at them

Thumbnail image for Israel fires spacecraft at the moon after alleging someone there threw stones at them

Israel has been accused of ‘overreacting’ after it fired a projectile into the moon in a show of strength against what it calls ‘moon-dwelling stone throwers’.

Read the full article →

“Sexual health” robots demand better working conditions and therapy

Thumbnail image for “Sexual health” robots demand better working conditions and therapy

A new range of A.I. driven robots used in hospitals and the home for intimate procedures have launched a campaign to highlight the over-familiar duties they perform in the workplace.

Read the full article →

Man buys ‘task management app’ in naive belief it will convert him into productive powerhouse

Thumbnail image for Man buys ‘task management app’ in naive belief it will convert him into productive powerhouse

A man has paid cash money for a task management app that he is convinced will change him from a perennial task avoider, into a productive powerhouse capable of anything.

Read the full article →

Harry and Meghan took my Instagram account says Barry Fuckallpeasants

Thumbnail image for Harry and Meghan took my Instagram account says Barry Fuckallpeasants

A Sussex man has spoken of his surprise that Prince Harry and wife Meghan have been given his Instagram account name.

Read the full article →

Jet engine developers condemned for potentially bringing Australians ‘within four hours of the UK’

Thumbnail image for Jet engine developers condemned for potentially bringing Australians ‘within four hours of the UK’

There has been widespread outcry across Britain over the weekend, following an announcement that a super-fast engine, which could reduce flight times between Sydney and London to around four hours, is due to undergo key tests.

Read the full article →

Facebook promises their latest update means you’ll see even less of the stuff you actually follow

Thumbnail image for Facebook promises their latest update means you’ll see even less of the stuff you actually follow

Mark Zuckerberg has told Facebook users that new improvements to the popular social media platform will mean they see ‘even less’ of the stuff they’ve actually said they want.

Read the full article →

Facebook outage forces entire nation to descend into state of mass productivity

Thumbnail image for Facebook outage forces entire nation to descend into state of mass productivity

After social networking site Facebook went off-line yesterday afternoon, the nation’s workers descended into what experts are calling a ‘terrifying frenzy of productivity’.

Read the full article →