Friday 9 April 2021 by Frances Ward

‘Children lacked discipline during lockdown’ says man sacked from the government for lack of discipline


Gavin Williamson

Education Secretary, Gavin Williamson has chided the nation’s youth for poor discipline during lockdown, himself being a beacon of propriety and exemplary conduct, or not so much, as former Prime Minister, Theresa May can attest.

May sacked the then Defence Secretary in 2019 over a press leak of confidential material about Huawei and, hopefully, the realisation that he was, you know, Defence Secretary.

Williamson, who denied the allegation, to ensure his persona as a slippery little prick remained intact, then bided his time to go from inexplicably being in charge of the country’s defence to then being appointed by Boris Johnson, of course, to oversee the education of the country’s next generation.

Education spokesperson, Simone Williams commented, “The Education Secretary is a role model for all children. He has prospered notwithstanding his insipid youth as a permanent Chinese burn victim who won the award for ‘most likely to be bankrupted by a pyramid scheme’, and that is all down to him working tirelessly at being inept and devious in equal measure.

“When he talks at length about ill-discipline, children, parents and teachers alike can be assured it is coming from someone who is a grandmaster on the topic.

“You only need to look at the cabinet to know that he is surrounded by equally experienced artful dodgers that enable him is to talk on such matters with both a straight-face and complete lack of irony.

“Although that may also be because when he smiles he looks like the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and he thinks irony is how you describe clothes after they’ve been ironed.

“Good look kids. You’re gonna fucking need it.”

A Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt, mask and mug HERE!

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