Friday 9 April 2021

Frantic Daily Mail desperately searching for way to blame Prince Philip’s death on Meghan Markle


Daily Mail

After Prince Philip passed away today aged 99, frantic tabloid hacks at the Daily Mail are trying to find an angle that could lay the blame at the feet of Meghan Markle.

As obituaries are posted around the Internet, an emergency brainstorming session is being held at Daily Mail HQ where staff have begun trying to blame the death of a 99-year-old man in ill-health on a black woman they don’t like.

“This is one of the hardest days we’ve ever had in the long history of this paper,” explained Simon Williams, a Mail copy editor of fifteen years.

“Not because Prince Philip has died, that was expected at some point in the coming months, but because it’s really hard to find a solid Meghan Markle angle to this.

“Right now we’re thinking we could blame her for taking his favourite grandson to the other side of the world, and that finally did him in?

“Or maybe we could speculate that she sent them a postcard showing how much better their life is now, and that sent him over an edge?

“Someone just suggested Meghan might have hired an assassin to poison his tea, and as ridiculous as that sounds, we know a couple of million of our readers would believe it.

“We’re getting quite desperate, but I think we’re just going to go with ‘Philip dead at 99 – Meghan still a bitch’, which pretty much sums up our editorial position.

“If we were to just run an obituary without mentioning her, people might think we’ve gone soft on her – and nothing, and I mean nothing, could be further from the truth.

“If anything, we’ll have even more time to devote to her now that we have one less royal to cover.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader) – get the T-shirt HERE!

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