Education

Anti-vaxxer showing photos of dead bodies to children at school gates still confident he’s ‘the good guy’

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An anti-vaxxer who spent this morning shouting at children and showing them photos of dead people has today insisted he is definitely one of the good guys.

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PTA bake sale raises over 200 Covid cases for school

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A school bake sale has successfully raised the institution’s incidence of coronavirus by more than 200 cases.

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Man celebrates his ‘genius progeny’ after nursery teacher says child doing ‘really well’

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A man is celebrating a child genius today after a teacher told him his son was doing ‘really well’ at nursery during a parents evening meeting, something which she definitely won’t have said to everyone she spoke to that day.

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Fight erupts at Conservative conference after attendee reveals he went to a state school

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A scuffle has broken out at the Conservative party conference this morning.

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‘I was in a rush so I’m allowed’ says absolute arsehole parking on double yellows outside school

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An absolute arsehole parking on double yellow lines right outside a primary school has confirmed today that they are allowed to just park where they want because they were in a bit of a rush.

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Yeah, I don’t think this is for me, insists child after first week of school

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4-year-old Jake Williams will today tell his parents he tried school, didn’t like it, and will ask what else he can do instead.

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Everyone mentally converting GCSE numbers into proper grades

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After this year’s GCSE results were released, everyone is busy converting them in their heads into the format they actually understand rather than the 1-9 scoring system that has been used. 

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Students with outstanding A-level results offered bursaries to pretend they aren’t smarter than their parents

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The government announced plans to give £500 bursaries to students from this year’s record-breaking A-level cohort so they don’t hammer in the fact that nearly half of them got scores that for their elders would have been the preserve of a tiny, highly bullied, minority.

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Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

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The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year where they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.

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Tony Blair hails success of Labour’s twenty-year-old programme to rid nation of domestic HGV drivers

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Tony Blair has today hailed the success of his education programme to rid the nation of HGV drivers, and insisted the lack of drivers coinciding with Brexit and the end of free movement is nothing more than ‘coincidence’.

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