England fan elated to finally be able to boo one of his own players in person

author avatar by 3 years ago

A self-proclaimed patriot, who has the obligatory union flag Twitter handle with the meaningless statement that his views are his own, was delighted to able to watch his beloved England in person last night and to boo them with pure venom, it has emerged.

Simon Williams said, “I love England. I would die for my country.

“Look, it is literally written between my man tits, right above the union flag that covers the rest of my very white hairy hulking body.

“So, you can imagine my sense of pride after a year of breaking lockdown rules – or, as I call it, expressing my god-given right to be a selfish fucktard – when I can finally take to the stands to vomit my ire at young men kneeling for reasons I’ve decided are evil and nothing more than a signal to Black Lives Matter anarchists somewhere to destroy Churchill’s statue.

“You know, as opposed to them merely wanting to simply take a stand against the racism that many of them have personally faced throughout their lives.

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“Of course, before he turns into a Black Panther for literally 30 seconds, whatever one of those are, I’m just an Arsenal fan applauding my boy Sako on his first start for England.

“Obviously, not really ‘my boy’. Fuuckk, no.

“But for the matter of seconds that he kneeled the rest of them, I could literally have torn my own arm off and thrown it at him.

“He deservedly got the full-throated venom as someone who I have concluded wants to replace the national anthem with ‘Fuk da Police’ and replace the Queen with Stormzy or that prick Lammy.

“Of course, I screamed his name when he scored before singing ‘it’s coming home.’ What an absolute legend.

“Obviously, I’m going to abuse the living fuck out of him on Twitter later.

“Marxist Antifa-loving traitor that he is.”