Monday 26 April 2021 by Frances Ward

I paid for the Downing Street sex dungeon myself, insists Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson paid for sex dungeon himself

Boris Johnson has insisted that he oversaw the design plans and full installation of his official sex dungeon, it has been reported.

The Prime Minister made this clarification after increasing reports – allegedly stemming from his ex-adviser Dominic Cummings – claimed that he sought financial support from certain Tory donors to fund his elaborate internal grot palace.

Number 10 spokesperson, Simon Williams said, “I can assure the public that the Prime Minister has ‘personally paid the bill’ for works on the Downing Street sex dungeon, and suggestions to the contrary are a mendacious slur on his character.

“In fact, I also understand that originally, Mr Cummings was heavily involved in the project which was to operate as a dual-purpose facility for them both, before he quit due to irreconcilable creative differences.

“It was intended as a standard debauchery chamber for the Prime Minister’s exclusive use, often alone, and fully equipped with a range of medieval torture devices for Cummings to use.

“Also, principally, alone.”

One Tory Donor commented, “Yes, a while back he asked me if I fancied going halfers on a Victorian sex swing. Apparently, it has reinforced hip support to enable the more mature gentleman to master the wheelbarrow without a mishap.

“But I declined. I’m more of a getting-spanked-in-a-man-sized-babygrow kind of sex fiend.”

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