Ex-Special Advisor with well-documented eyesight problems can apparently see everything wrong with government

An ex-Special Advisor who admitted to driving despite worrying issues with his eyesight, suddenly has 20:20 vision when it comes to seeing what’s wrong with the government.

New government SpAd and Boris bumlicker, Simon Williams, said, “Dominic Cummings, ousted from a government advisor role and not-at-all bitter, is now lashing out at everyone’s favourite Muppet, Boris Johnson, questioning the integrity of the popular man who won the Leave vote for him.

“Dominic used Boris’s likeability to get his own way; useful in the extreme as Dominic has literally zero likeability and that’s not something you can buy even if you’re awarded the government contract without any need for a tender process.

“As he was forced out, he’s decided on taking everyone with him.

“So far, he can see Boris’s incompetence. He’s can see his lack of integrity. He’s seen Boris’s ‘possibly illegal’ plan for donors to pay for renovations of the Downing Street flat.

“And yet this is a man who couldn’t see the road nor a big fuck-off castle, as he flouted rules to which he himself expected those beneath him to adhere.

“I guess his hindsight is better than his actual sight.

“All of his suggestions would probably have some clout if the entire country didn’t think Dom was a massive and total bellend.

“Who would have thought that the isolationism of Brexit would eventually see all the isolationists turning on each other?

“I did not see that coming!”

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