Tuesday 27 April 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘I was wearing big ear muffs so I didn’t hear a thing’ says Michael Gove


Michael Gove didn't hear anything

Michael Gove has revealed that he did not hear Prime Minister Boris Johnson rage at the top of his voice that he would rather see bodies pile high than have another lockdown, because he was actually wearing big fluffy ear muffs at the time, so couldn’t hear properly, or something.

With pressure mounting on the Prime minister over the leaked remarks today, with three sources now confirming he said the phrase, cabinet minister and liar Michael Gove has quickly moved to defend Johnson by declaring that he heard no such thing at all, through his unicorn ear muffs which also play music.

Speaking earlier he revealed, “I’m not saying he DIDN’T say it, because I might get caught out on that one, obviously.

“All I’m saying is that if he did say it, and I don’t think he did, but if he did shout it in one of his regular stupid tantrums, then I didn’t actually hear it so there.

“It was a really cold day and I was wearing my favourite ear muffs, you know to stay warm, and they also play music so I had some Slipknot on, really loud so I couldn’t possibly hear.

“All I know is that if it’s proven that he did say it, then I haven’t actually lied, because of the earmuff thing, and saying I just didn’t hear anything.”

Asked if he has ever seen anything untoward regarding the Prime Ministers flat renovations he told us, “Well, I was actually wearing a sleeping mask throughout that whole time, over my eyes.”

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