Dan Sweryt

Russian opposition leader arrested for refusing to comply with poisoning

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Russian opposition leader, Alexei Navalny, has been arrested by the Kremlin after violating the terms of his state-sanctioned poisoning.

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‘You can’t trust Tories with free school meal money as they’ll only waste it on profits for their mates’ insist benefit recipients

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Benefit recipients have sensationally claimed that Tories would only fritter away free school meal money on profit for their mates.

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Steve Davis banned from Parler for years of extremely moderate views

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Former snooker world champion Steve Davis has been banned from Parler after years of extremely boring, moderate, non-inciting views.

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Trump confirms he won’t attend Biden inauguration as he will already be in jail

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President-de-elect Donald Trump has confirmed he won’t be at President Biden’s inauguration as he’ll be too busy being in prison.

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Elite sport locked down following lengthy VAR review

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After Elite sport was originally allowed to carry on during the latest lockdown, it has been sensationally disallowed after a lengthy VAR review.

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Lorries stuck overnight in Kent to be charged council tax

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Unfortunate lorry drivers stuck overnight on motorways, unable to move due to the border closure, will be charged council tax for ‘residing’ in the area.

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New variant of UK passport causing trouble at EU borders

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A newly-discovered variant of passport in Britain is causing significant trouble at EU borders.

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Brexiters demand unequivocal ban on EU farmers catching potatoes in British soil

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Brexiters are today demanding that all EU farmers be immediately banned from catching potatoes in sovereign British soil.

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“Our post-Brexit Coronavirus is already outperforming other countries,” insists Gavin Williamson

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Education Secretary and part-time Frank Spencer impersonator, Gavin Williamson, has claimed that the UK’s post-Brexit version of Covid-19 is simply ‘better’ than other countries’ versions of it.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg informs UNICEF that English kids don’t need help because they’re being so well fed by the food banks

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has informed the pesky do-gooders at UNICEF that children in Plymouth don’t need their help as they’re all being so well-fed at the food banks.

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