The entire population of the UK bought electric vehicles during the night as buying an expensive electric vehicle became cheaper than a single tank of fuel.
Motoring guy, Simon Williams – no, not that one – said, “Yet more fuel rises saw people just abandoning their vehicle by petrol pumps this morning.
“Naturally, the big energy company executives are blaming purely capitalist inventions such as double taxation, profit warnings, shareholders, accountants who do nothing but search for legislative loopholes and an overwhelming need to pay themselves huge salaries that they really don’t need. All of which is complete and utter… well, they’re right, aren’t they?”
Former petrol punter, Eleanor Gay, said, “I pulled up at the pump to get some petrol and was just getting the nozzle out when I noticed the price. I looked across the road and saw a car dealership with a hugely expensive electric car staring at me.
“Very quickly I realised that car was about 1/5th of the price of filling my current ‘08’ plate shitheap, which due an MOT inspection I probably can’t afford anyway. So I walked across, handed my card over and drove away a brand new Nissan Leaf.
“Obviously I couldn’t get the full 1.4 miles home because of its range, but, you know, near enough!”
Prospective diesel buyer, Christopher James, said, “Why are all these cars sitting next to petrol pumps with no-one in them? I did what any sane person would do: went back to my vehicle and sat there until the appropriate authorities saw fit to remove them.”