Smart motorways ‘confusing’, insists man who doesn’t know which middle lane to hog

Smart motorways have been slammed as ‘confusing’, with many drivers calling for the roads, which utilise the hard shoulder as a live running lane thus creating four lanes with no ‘middle’, to be scrapped.

The introduction of smart motorways was designed to increase road capacity, but has left millions of terrible drivers entirely baffled.

Derek Williams, 72, who is from near the M6 and drives a 2012 Nissan Note, is one such road user.

“They’re bloody dangerous!” he blasted.

“Before their introduction I’d always sit happily in the middle lane. Trucks passed to the left, cars to the right. I knew exactly where I stood.

“Often the other drivers would give me a little toot of their horn and gesture with their fingers to show that lane two – the middle one – is indeed my correct position. Sometimes they’ve use their middle finger to indicate their agreement that my road position was the best one.

“Now, there are two middle lanes. Which should I use? Motorways should always have an odd number of lanes to make it easy to find the middle one for drivers like me. If we can’t have three, then we need five. Stop discriminating!”

Audi yob Gary Nuisance, 49 from Watford Gap said, “It’s getting me down. I could easily be in London in thirty minutes flat, but not with those damn cameras on the so-called smart motorway. They’re flashing in mirrors like a bleedin’ disco every time I go through. It’s not fair!”

A Highways Agency spokesperson was unavailable for comment after getting stuck in the Bedfordshire M1 roadworks since sometime in 2017.

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