After scientists announced that 2023 will be the warmest on record, the self-taught environmental researchers have insisted that this can’t be true as they had to wear socks in bed last night.
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The delegates at COP28 have announced that they have reached an agreement to all turn that bloody light off if you’re not in there anymore.
Following the arrest by the Metropolitan Police of Swedish activist Greta Thunberg, fellow eco-warriors made a formal complaint of sexual assault against her, resulting in the young woman being immediately set free and given cheeky complicit winks by several police officers.
Water bills will have to go up by £156 a year if water companies are to reduce the amount of excrement they throw into the nation’s rivers while maintaining their current extremely healthy executive bonuses.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
