Environment

Summer officially over as the first Tory backstabbing of Autumn is sighted near Westminster

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Observers of seasonal change have blamed climate change for an early fall, as many people reported squirrels hoarding nuts, leaves turning brown and members of the Conservative party ruthlessly putting their own ambitions over party loyalty, the good of the country or even basic decency.

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Seagulls refusing to follow the trawler due to scallop-related violence

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The normal state of affairs, in which seagulls follow trawlers, has been savagely interrupted by our former friends and EU partners, France.

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Ignore what the so-called ‘experts’ say and throw us some damn bread, demand ducks

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Ducks across the country are demanding that you continue to throw pieces of bread in their direction, no matter how bad so-called experts insist it might be for them.

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Black giraffe was ‘acting suspiciously’, claims Breitbart

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As a female trophy hunter drew the ire of the Internet by shooting a rare black giraffe and boasting about it on social media, right-wing news website Breitbart.com leapt to her defence and insisted that the victim was being aggressive and left the woman with no choice but to shoot.

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Roads become self-healing as tarmac melts to fill potholes

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The UK’s roads have officially become self-healing in the ongoing heatwave as tarmac is melting to fill in potholes up and down the country.

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We’re still ‘Green’ because of that week Michael Gove gave up disposable cups, insists government

Thumbnail image for We’re still ‘Green’ because of that week Michael Gove gave up disposable cups, insists government

The government has countered accusations that they were betraying their eco-friendly credentials by supporting a third runway at Heathrow, by highlighting the many times Environment Secretary Michael Gove reused a coffee cup and got angry at plastic straws. Simon Williams, the senior policy advisor to Michael Gove, was adamant that there was nothing hypocritical in […]

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Loathsome EU bastards determined to deprive hardworking Brits of dirty air

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Meddling eurocrats are seeking to clean the air inside the UK in the latest display of their frightening power.

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Man decides it’s easier to be climate change denier than waste his life washing out food containers

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A man has decided it’s easier to become a climate change denier than spend 90% of his free time scrubbing out the remnants of an M&S Broccoli Cheese or Waitrose Cannelloni in order to recycle them.

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Discarded Morrissey albums ‘a greater environmental catastrophe’ than plastic bottles

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Morrissey records thrown out in disgust by the general public are posing a greater hazard to the marine ecosystem than empty bottles of Fanta, it has emerged.

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Man happy paying £1.50 for stuff that comes free from the tap furious at paying 10p for bottle it comes in

Thumbnail image for Man happy paying £1.50 for stuff that comes free from the tap furious at paying 10p for bottle it comes in

People who don’t think twice about paying £1.50 for a bottle of water that would have cost them a fraction of a penny if it came from their tap, are today losing their shit at plans to charge them ten pence for the bottle it comes in.

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