Environment

Extinction Rebellion packs it in after clever man points out their phones are made in China

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Simon Williams, a retired taxi driver from Eastbourne, has single-handedly destroyed the Extinction Rebellion movement by wittily highlighting on Facebook that Greta Thunberg’s smartphone had a carbon cost, hence invalidating all and any of their viewpoints.

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Greta Thunberg and Malala Yousafzai meet up to discuss boys, ponies and make-up

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Climate Activist Greta Thunberg yesterday met up with Education Activist Malala Yousafzai.

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Shark survives attack by New Zealand surfer

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Shark Simon Williams has spoken of his relief at surviving a potentially life-threatening encounter with New Zealand surfer, Nick Minogue.

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Vivaldi’s Four Seasons reduced to Two in light of climate change

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Antonio Vivaldi’s Four Seasons concerti will now consist of just two seasons, because that’s all there are these days.

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Boris to visit flooded areas as soon as he’s finished Pokemon Sword

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Downing Street has announced that Prime Minister Boris Johnson will visit flood-hit areas of the country just as soon as he’s completed Pokemon Sword.

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EU can shove its generous flood defence fund insist Brexiters up to their necks in water

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Partially submerged Brexit voters have told the EU to stick their flood defence funds ‘where the sun don’t shine’ – or ‘England’ as it is more commonly known.

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Met Office hoping that £1.2 billion investment in new supercomputer delivers more than ’42’

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The Met Office will be hoping for something considerably more tangible than “42” after newly appointed business secretary, Alok Sharma, announced a spend of £1.2 billion pounds on a new weather supercomputer.

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Thousands of Brits either lose or gain a trampoline

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You may find yourself with one more or one fewer trampolines today, according to the met office.

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Storm Ciara causing chaos across the nation: is it Meghan’s fault?

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Storm Ciara is causing travel and infrastructure chaos across the country and experts are suggesting that this first American sounding storm of the year could be the fault of Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex.

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‘And what do you do?’ Greta Thunberg asks Prince Charles

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Climate activist Greta Thunberg met Prince Charles at the World Economic Forum and was genuinely puzzled as to the point of him.

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