Environment

Furloughed worker with every window open in his house delighted at government’s £2bn insulation fund

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After the government chose the middle of summer to announce plans to spend £2bn insulating the nation’s homes, a furloughed worker with every window in his house fully open has asked if there might be more pressing matters to spend that money on at the moment.

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Wasps target 60% increase in bastardy during summer

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The International Federation of Wasps have announced an ambitious target of a 60% increase in bastardy over the course of summer.

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Most popular Springwatch moments to be released on new Blu-ray – ‘Springwatch: Just Shagging’

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The BBC has announced that a new Springwatch compilation Blu-ray – ‘Springwatch: Just Shagging’ – will be available in the coming weeks.

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Missing Springwatch? Recreate your favourite moments at home with our handy unsolicited guide that literally no one is asking for

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TV viewer of a certain age? Missing Springwatch’s trademark marsh-based amateurism? While the latest series has been put out of its misery faster than an errant fox puppy gambolling into Camilla Parker Bowles’ stable, here’s your handy family guide to recreating the magic at home.

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Conor McGregor announces his annual retirement

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Conor McGregor has announced his retirement from UFC slightly earlier than usual this year.

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Mother Nature spotted laughing her tits off as the notorious prankster creates perfect beer garden weather on four-day weekend

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Mother nature has been spotted absolutely pissing her sides today as temperatures continue to rise and skies remain clear on a four-day holiday weekend while everyone is stuck inside their houses.

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Extinction Rebellion packs it in after clever man points out their phones are made in China

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Simon Williams, a retired taxi driver from Eastbourne, has single-handedly destroyed the Extinction Rebellion movement by wittily highlighting on Facebook that Greta Thunberg’s smartphone had a carbon cost, hence invalidating all and any of their viewpoints.

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Greta Thunberg and Malala Yousafzai meet up to discuss boys, ponies and make-up

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Climate Activist Greta Thunberg yesterday met up with Education Activist Malala Yousafzai.

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Shark survives attack by New Zealand surfer

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Shark Simon Williams has spoken of his relief at surviving a potentially life-threatening encounter with New Zealand surfer, Nick Minogue.

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Vivaldi’s Four Seasons reduced to Two in light of climate change

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Antonio Vivaldi’s Four Seasons concerti will now consist of just two seasons, because that’s all there are these days.

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