Environment

Swan incapable of breaking a man’s arm ostracised from swan community

Thumbnail image for Swan incapable of breaking a man’s arm ostracised from swan community

A swan who is unable to break a man’s arm has found himself ostracised from the swan community.

Read the full article →

Google Maps to start showing ‘scenic’ routes which are just a bit less shit

Thumbnail image for Google Maps to start showing ‘scenic’ routes which are just a bit less shit

Google Maps is to start directing drivers to routes which it calculates are just a little bit more ‘scenic’ based on a list of factors it is revealed today.

Read the full article →

Suez canal closed again after discarded Jacob’s cracker dries up the entire thing

Thumbnail image for Suez canal closed again after discarded Jacob’s cracker dries up the entire thing

The Suez canal is closed again.

Read the full article →

Greta Thunberg statue to power two million homes by harnessing the rage of hypocritical Daily Mail readers

Thumbnail image for Greta Thunberg statue to power two million homes by harnessing the rage of hypocritical Daily Mail readers

The University of Winchester has announced a pioneering leap in renewable energy by being able to generate electricity from the rage and bluster of right-wing dotards beautifully cornered by their own cretinous stance on the sanctity of statues.

Read the full article →

New Government guidelines on unsafe cladding include ‘Don’t set fire to anything’ and ‘Pray’

Thumbnail image for New Government guidelines on unsafe cladding include ‘Don’t set fire to anything’ and ‘Pray’

Housing Secretary Robert Jenrick yesterday announced a raft of measures to tackle the problem of unsafe cladding on England’s high-rises.

Read the full article →

Arthur Scargill joins Tories as new coal mine opens

Thumbnail image for Arthur Scargill joins Tories as new coal mine opens

Hero of the working classes, Arthur Scargill, has joined the Conservative Party after they allowed the opening of a new coal mine in Cumbria.

Read the full article →

Murdering the leaf-blower man now permissible by law

Thumbnail image for Murdering the leaf-blower man now permissible by law

A new law has been rushed through parliament that will see the murdering of the leaf-blower man permissible if he won’t just shut the f**k up.

Read the full article →

China aims to be zero-carbon by 2060 and zero-Uyghur by 2030

Thumbnail image for China aims to be zero-carbon by 2060 and zero-Uyghur by 2030

Chinese President Xi Jinping has made the shock announcement that by 2060 China will no longer contribute to the world’s carbon emissions – and that by 2030 it will no longer contribute to the world’s Uyghur population.

Read the full article →

Environmental disaster! Chelmsford rainforests now completely eradicated

Thumbnail image for Environmental disaster! Chelmsford rainforests now completely eradicated

In a new catastrophe for the environment, the famous rainforests of Chelmsford, known as ‘Essex’s Lungs’ have been completely eradicated, say scientists.

Read the full article →

The only respectable way to muzzle the press is to have journalists beaten up, insists Boris Johnson

Thumbnail image for The only respectable way to muzzle the press is to have journalists beaten up, insists Boris Johnson

The Prime Minister has condemned activist group Extinction Rebellion for trying to stop the work of British journalists with peaceful sit-ins instead of the traditional methods of grabbing mobile phones, hiding in fridges and assaulting reporters in their homes.

Read the full article →