Environment

Climate change deniers unveil an evil Greta Thunberg

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Senior representatives of the planet’s leading climate change and global warming denying organisations have met today in the Texan city of Corpus Christi, where the first International Smoke Summit has been inaugurated, an event that aims to counter the UN Climate Change Conference in Madrid.

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Poor to stay warm this winter by burning huge piles of unread Liberal Democrat election leaflets

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The Liberal Democrats have been hailed as ‘lifesavers’ today, after it was revealed that every house in the country has received several sacks of election leaflets from the party.

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Climate change caused by indoor smoking ban Labour introduced in 2006, claims Boris

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Boris Johnson has claimed that the 2006 Health Act which Labour introduced to prevent people smoking inside public places is directly to blame for climate change.

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Venetian gondoliers now offering romantic boat tours of Venice’s historic rooftops

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With floodwaters in Venice now at their highest for fifty years, gondoliers are making the best of the situation by taking tourists on roof-level tours among the historic and picturesque spires, chimneys, and TV aerials of the historic city.

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Brexiters at a loss trying to find a way to blame floods on the EU

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Harrumphing xenophobes who view every tragic event as part of a European conspiracy to keep Britain down have been struggling to come up with a convoluted argument to blame Brussels for excess rain.

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Yorkshireman puts visiting Boris Johnson to work in flood defences as replacement sandbag

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Boris Johnson has been put to work as part of the flood defences outside a Yorkshireman’s house this morning, despite hoping for nothing more than a warm handshake and a photo opportunity.

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World leaders confident they will be able to ignore climate study endorsed by 11,000 scientists

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World leaders led by Donald Trump are confident they will be able to successfully ignore a new study that declares Climate change to be a ‘clear and unequivocal’ emergency.

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UK voters increasingly desperate for climate change hurry up and put them out of their misery

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British Leavers and Remainers alike are investing in wood burners, 4×4 vehicles and long-haul flights, to try and hasten the environmental Armageddon, and settle Brexit once and for all.

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Extinction Rebellion smash up a wind farm

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Extinction Rebellion have stepped up their campaign against things that they really should be in favour of by smashing up a wind farm.

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Confused public now feeding ducks crisps, cheese-strings and crystal meth

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The British public is throwing all sorts of shit to the ducks.

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