Conservative party delighted that Brexit vote sorted out all that Tory in-fighting once and for all

author avatar by 1 year ago

The UK’s Conservatives are all really happy that all that Brexit palaver finally sorted out Tory in-fighting once and for all, and that we haven’t seen any of it since.

Tory whip, Simon Williams, has been following the party closely since that moment, and told us, “It was David Cameron’s firm belief that sorting out the European question would lead to a peaceful party that no longer fought about anything much. And that belief has played out perfectly since that important decision was voted upon by the country back in 2016.

“He was nothing short of completely correct about everything! Everyone has been getting along famously these last six years! We laugh in the faces of those who said that MPs would defect to other parties, that Michael Gove would stab everyone in the back at some stage, that we’d go through PMs like a toddler goes through nappies, and that someone like Liz Truss would be voted in as Prime Minister despite most MPs clearly not wanting her.

“If any of that happened, we would have surely heard about it!

“Now people are making out like there’s some sort of internal dynamic in this party of power-mad isolationists who look out for no one but themselves that will always lead to conflict! How Ridiculous!

“It’s as though being a member of the Conservative Party predisposes you to just get on with everyone, regardless of views, with absolutely no animosity whatsoever.

“I mean, if they didn’t, it’d be all the other side’s fault, anyway.”

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