Friday 21 May 2021 by Frances Ward

Oh, Just f*ck off Burrell


Paul Burrell having his opinion again

Paul Burrell has been told to fuck off by absolutely everyone.

Burrell, who has made a living from dining out on his supposed ‘close’ relationship with Princess Diana, from his time repeatedly opening and closing the door for her, has obviously re-surfaced and immediately been told to fuck all the way off by everyone.

One such person, Simon Williams, said, “I saw him on Lorraine this morning, which I was watching because of the minor stroke I must have suffered. Then that twat appeared.

“As soon as he launched into some half-arsed theories about the Diana interviews by the BBC I instinctively shouted, ‘seriously? Just fuck off, mate’.

“To be honest, I’m disappointed with myself that there were at least thirty seconds between him appearing on screen and me formulating that reaction.”

Another person of a similar mind, Jane Holloway said, “I was making tea in the kitchen and my husband shouted from the other room, ‘that fucker, Burrell’s just popped up now.

“Just piss the fuck off, Burrell, I whispered to myself, as I repeatedly dipped my teabag. I felt an immediate sense of calm getting the words out.

“But then I saw that Piers Morgan had tweeted, slagging off the BBC and how they had Diana’s blood on their hands.

“Let just say, the kitchen’s an absolute fucking write off.”

“Wait, is that Nigel Farage trending on Twitter??” said Jane before running out of the house screaming.

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