Friday 21 May 2021 by Mark Molloy

Man desperately missing lockdown after already pissing away £140 ‘making memories’ with the kids


man making memories with the kids

A man is desperately missing lockdown today, after pissing away over £140 since Monday ‘making memories’ with the kids.

Simon Williams, who also has a weekend of fun and outings planned with the family, revealed the news earlier whilst forking out for tickets after promising to take everyone to Alton Towers for the day ‘as soon as this is all over’.

Speaking earlier, whilst looking at his banking app on his phone he told us, “Bring back lockdown, that’s all I can say – I’m frigging skint already.

“I made the mistake of promising the wife and kids that we would do ‘everything’ as soon as we were allowed, and have loads of fun days out making lovely memories. But, as I have realised, it costs a fucking fortune doing that.

“It’s only been four days and I’ve gone through about £140 already. And we’ve not even done anything good.

“We went ten pin bowling which lasted about half an hour, so I had to drag it out with a tenner in the arcades afterwards, pissing even more money away.

“Followed by a KFC which to be fair was a result, because the family suggested Five Guys at first which would have crippled me completely.

“And we’ve been to the cinema too, which also cost a fortune, even though we snuck a load of our own food and drinks in as usual.”

Asked if they have a quiet weekend planned to try to save some money we were told “Alton fucking Towers, mate.”

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