After Dan Thomas, Welsh Leader of Reform, resigned following his arrest on suspicion of assault and coercive behaviour, Reform party officials preemptively condemned all coverage of violence against women as inherent ‘anti-Reform bias’.
Following Donald Trump’s deranged rant about Bruce Springsteen, a large percentage of MAGA followers have expressed dismay as they felt duty-bound to immediately purge and burn all their Springsteen records.
In an abrupt U-Turn, Reform supporter Simon Williams, formerly a passionate advocate of celebrities shutting the fuck up on matters of state, has granted Holly Valance a license to speak freely.
Following Bruce Springsteen’s release of a new song criticising the Trump regime’s actions in Minnesota, a large percentage of MAGA followers have expressed dismay as they felt duty-bound to immediately purge and burn all their Springsteen records.
With the Christmas holidays imminent, it is feared that the already overcrowded prison service will reach breaking point following convictions for people using traditional Christmas greetings.
Following Bruce Springsteen’s recent comments on his UK tour disparaging Donald Trump, a large percentage of MAGA followers have expressed dismay as they felt duty-bound to immediately purge and burn all their Springsteen records.
Earlier today, plans were announced for a crackdown on immigration with a focus on English language skills being a key determinant in applying for settlement in the U.K.
Scientists have been given a £50 million grant to spray Sulfate particles from planes in high atmosphere to try and reduce the amount of harmful rays from the sun making it to Earth, thus mitigating impending climate disasters.
After details emerged of a another catastrophic security breech from the U.S Defense Secretary’s office, pentagon officials have insisted Pete Hesgeth update his security settings to ensure his passwords include a capital and special character.
In the wake of another mass shooting at a school in the US, American voters have demanded to know what the government intends to do about the spate of vandalism effecting the range of Teslas across the country.
After Liz Kendall announced a £5bn cut to the benefits bill, a visibly foaming local man, Simon Williams, lambasted the government’s heartlessness for doing exactly what he claimed to want in the run-up to the election.
Finance experts today hailed Donald Trump’s handling of the US economy as the single largest philanthropic gesture of any modern day president.
As one of the few who managed to buy Kanye West’s Swastika T-Shirt design before it was pulled from Shopify, Simon Williams expressed concern that once, again, the liberal media’s overreach would once again silence alternative viewpoints and vital countercultural spokesmen.
With the Christmas holidays imminent, it is feared that the already overcrowded prison service will reach breaking point following convictions for people using traditional Christmas greetings. There is concern those saying “Merry Christmas” as opposed to the more contemporary “Happy holidays” could lead to an exponential rise in the prison population, according to all the
After Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ began playing in stores across the UK in November, it has caught the ears of staff and customers with the same clarity and sense of impending dread as a nuclear air raid siren.
As Hurricane Milton rapidly approaches Florida, and the category four storm promises to deliver more wind than Brian Blessed at a curry house, widespread evacuations are well underway amongst people who aren’t morons.
With the closure of Ratcliffe-on-Soar’s coal-fired power plant, the UK pre-pubescent artisans have spoken of their concerns in sourcing suitable garment fasteners for the UK’s snowmen ahead of the busiest 2-3 days of the year.
After a heavily armed potential presidential assassin was caught on a golf course trying to put a hole-in-one twat, the manufacturers of GoPro have been roundly condemned for allowing the use of their equipment to potentially film the crime.
As the proposed winter fuel ban meets with increasing backlash across the political spectrum, lobbyists for several cold storage firms have now warned against what they see as rushed nationalisation of the industry by Labour. Simon Williams, spokesman for ‘Ice, Ice Baby and other Family Members Cryo LTD’ was quoted as saying, “Freezing human bodies
Disney has updated its Disney+ terms and conditions, capitalising on the fact no one seems to care when their terms prevent them from being accountable for human deaths related to their intellectual property.
As Swedish doctors report the first recorded case of the more dangerous Mpox clade 1 variant outside of Africa, the world braces for an onslaught of anti-vax bullshit that threatens to infect the entirety of social media, along with doing significant damage to Facebook’s fact-checkers.
As rumours swirl of protesters being treated differently by both the police and the establishment based on their political affiliation and skin colour, the popular slogan ‘Two Tier-Kier’ has been adopted by protesters.
After Rachel Reeves announced last week that the government would be cutting back the winter fuel allowance, a visibly foaming local man, Simon Williams, lambasted the government’s heartlessness for doing exactly what he claimed to want in the run-up to the election.
As coverage of the Paris Olympics continues on TV, radio and Internet, one man has also ramped up his social media presence to inform and educate the population at large that he definitely isn’t tuning in. Taking a delightfully contrarian twist, it turns out Simon Williams isn’t watching the Olympics and has previously expressed distaste
A man has recently pointed out that vegans never shut up about being vegan, seemingly unaware that he has a habit of sharing photos of every large steak he consumes.
Ricky Wilson, lead singer of the Leeds-based band Kaiser Chiefs and general low-level irritant has been brought in for questioning about the rioting that took place in Leeds overnight.
Simon Williams, a committed believer in the great replacement theory, is fundamentally struggling to increase the total number of white people on the planet through an extreme lack of willing sexual partners, it has emerged.
Ignoring dire warnings from perfectly rational Tory campaigners with absolutely all of their marbles – the UK electorate chose to elect Keir Starmer in a landslide, and must now watch on in horror as he prepares dinner for his family on a Friday evening.
Dismissing the existing polling showing a huge Labour majority in the upcoming general election, Simon Williams announced his intentions to vote for Reform, bolstering his claims of sweeping Nigel Farage into Number 10 with the assertion everyone he knows is also voting for Reform.
As a fourth Tory official was placed under investigation by the gambling watchdog for effectively using insider trading to bet on the general election date, bookmakers have seen a huge influx of Tory officials gambling on the number of bottom-feeding Tory shysters who’ll eventually be caught up in the scandal.
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