Prisons to vacate cells with convicted Poppy wearers to make way for people guilty of saying “Merry Christmas!”

With the Christmas holidays imminent, it is feared that the already overcrowded prison service will reach breaking point following convictions for people using traditional Christmas greetings.

There is concern those saying “Merry Christmas” as opposed to the more contemporary “Happy holidays” could lead to an exponential rise in the prison population, according to all the most fact-checked media outlets in the UK

The news, lifted directly from the GB News comment section comes as a blow as it is believed, again by people on GB News comments sections, that the prison service was already being put under immense pressure by people remanded for insisting they’re English, and not British, and people that insisted they would observe Remembrance Sunday ‘No matter who tries to stop me!’ 

When pressed for details, it remained unclear who, if anyone, was attempting to stop them commemorating the service and what form the obstruction could possibly take.

One commentator claimed, “The number of people convicted of saying ‘Merry Christmas’ is currently 0, but, chillingly, that figure can only go up.

“If this carries on, His Majesty’s Prisons might have to put people who fly England flags in their front windows out on early release.”

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