Prince Andrew leaves keys to Buckingham Palace on London Bus

Prince Andrew is in disgrace once again after it emerged he left the keys to Buckingham Palace, along with his phone, a notebook full of his passwords and a compromising nude photograph of himself on the SL5 to East Croydon.

When asked for a comment, the Prince commented, “F**ked, aren’t I? Can’t believe it. I was coming home from the cinema, went to see Sonic 3. Really good, would definitely recommend if you enjoyed Sonic 1 and 2.

“Anyway, one minute they were in my backpack, the next.. poof. Gone. I was a bit distracted by the pretty lights through the window, then I thought I’d missed my stop and I panicked a bit, and in the fumble must have shaken everything out of my bag as I ran off the bus. Could have happened to anyone, really.”

“Charles went completely mental of course. Called me a gormless twat and threw his shoe at me. Bruised my arm, see here? Everyone was shouting, William was saying I should never have been allowed outside alone in the first place.

“I hid under the bed until it was all over. So unfair, if Mummy were still here, she wouldn’t stand for it.

“Really shitty luck that it was all found by the North Koreans though.”

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