Articles By Andrew

World

I meant the ‘right to bear arms that existed in 1791’, clarifies angry James Madison

I meant the ‘right to bear arms that existed in 1791’, clarifies angry James Madison

Pandora papers reveal that bears shit in the woods

Cool side of the pillow also hot

Cool side of the pillow also hot

Middle-class couple dither over when to ask cleaner to stop coming due to pandemic

Unprecedented use of word ‘unprecedented’ becomes unprecedented

Unmarried men to go into hiding to avoid leap day marriage proposals

Newly-promoted Aston Villa storm to 3rd place in Premier League

New film ‘Yesterday’ depicts world where man wakes up and no one has heard of Brexit

Duckworth-Lewis Amendment will see UK enter permanent customs union if it’s raining on March 29th

Maybot sends final message from Brussels: “My battery is low and it’s getting dark”

Samantha Cameron reassures David he’ll be mainly remembered for legalising same-sex marriage

Queen says ‘F*ck this shit’ and re-establishes absolute monarchy

UK

Ghostly White Fiat Uno flees Prince Philip crash site

‘Brexit’ scriptwriters admit they have no idea how to write season finale

Brexit’s ‘sunlit uplands’ found to be full of dogshit and broken glass

Titanic captain asks passengers to focus on 95% of crossing safely made rather than massive f*cking iceberg ahead

Theresa May wins cabinet backing for another 36 hours

Nation’s weekend “Not bad, thanks”

Mourinho: “My mum still thinks I’m special”

Man wistfully recalls time when ‘Brexit’ just sounded like funny name for breakfast cereal

Monty Python’s Black Knight insists Chequers plan still alive: “It’s just a flesh wound!”

Luftwaffe “just wanted to see St Paul’s Cathedral”

UK

Middle-aged urged to have two alcohol-free hours a week

Cardiff City storm to 5th place in Premier League

52% of children vote to eat only ice-cream instead of vegetables

“Still too early to write off Germany,” warn experts

FIFA unveils VARVAR system to review controversial VAR decisions

UK

“Nights drawing in now!” proclaims office wanker

Pages: 1234