“Now it’s too hot” declares man who spent last three months complaining summer was too cold

author avatar by 10 months ago

46-year-old Simon Williams from Hertfordshire has declared that it’s now “too hot”, despite having spent the past three months complaining about it being too cold.

The precious little petal, known as Goldilocks to his friends, has spent the morning refilling his water bottle from the cold tap then holding it to his head, and ostentatiously fanning himself like he’s a Victorian maiden whose corsets are too tight.

Only a week ago, Williams was moaning about the “bloody rain”, and how he’d barely been out in the garden all summer, but has managed to perform a full 180-degree about turn in his complaints without a single day in between, beating last year’s efforts when he spent at least two days saying, “Not bad for the time of year”.

Williams was last seen heading into Boots the Chemist where he is planning to spend the afternoon standing under the air conditioning vent and saying, “Typical, eh?” to anyone passing.

The warm weather, still technically known as summer, is set to continue until the end of the week, when we will probably leap ahead to winter and Williams complain of it being too cold for this time of year.

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