Middle-class couple Simon and Simone Williams were today dithering over exactly when they should ask their cleaner to stop coming in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.
“On the one hand, she’s a potential carrier, even a super-spreader, of a deadly disease, as are we to her and society in general,” explained Simon.
“But on the other hand, it’s really nice having someone clean the house for us.”
Wife Simone added, “Plus she’s, y’know, working-class, so really needs the money right now. Even though she somehow drives a newer car than we do.
“Could we get her classified as a key worker? And surely a clean house is less likely to have germs in it?”
But Simon then countered, “But then what if she’s the one spreading the germs? Are any of her other clients ill?
“I guess we could wait until she’s gone, then wipe down all the surfaces with disinfectant, but then that does rather defeat the purpose of having a cleaner.”
Simone butted in at this point, “But if we let her go, will we get the same slot back after all this is over? Thursday mornings are really convenient for us.
“At least we only pay cash, so there’s no expectation we’ll keep a standing order payment going. Or should we be paying her a retainer?
“The government need to introduce a system like they do for airlines so they don’t have to run empty flights just to keep their landing slots.”
Simon concluded, “This virus is the worst thing that’s ever happened.
“The sooner the government impose martial law so that middle-class people like us don’t have to make awkward decisions like this the better.”