Duckworth-Lewis Amendment will see UK enter permanent customs union if it’s raining on March 29th

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Duckworth-Lewis Amendment to the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement, to be voted on in parliament this week, will see the UK enter a permanent customs union with the EU if it is raining on March 29th.

The cross-party amendment, tabled by Sir Tarquin Rupert de Pfeffel Duckworth (Con, Chalfont St Giles) and Clare Lewis (Lab, North Grimshields) is seen as a compromise measure to calculate a fair result to the Brexit impasse.

Duckworth explained: “Remainers wish to bat on, hoping for a second innings, whereas Leavers want to declare early and avoid the follow-on.

“We think the most British thing to do would be to settle this using the weather. Blue skies over the Met Office mean a second referendum, snow means hard Brexit, and anything more than a light drizzle means that we enter a permanent customs union with the EU.”

Lewis added: “Then whatever happens we can all agree that it’s not quite what we hoped for, but you can’t do anything about the weather, so we’ll just make the best of it.”

Opposition came from an unlikely source though, with Angela Merkel saying, “It’s just not cricket”.