Notorious paedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein has apologised for his ill-judgement, admitting he would never have met with Tony Blair if he’d realised what a bad guy he was.
The United States government have announced that the ‘Strait of Hormuz’ is to be renamed the ‘Strait of America’.
Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino has begun the process of casting feet for his upcoming play on the West End, it has been revealed.
A confused Donald Trump has claimed Saddam Hussein is building weapons of mass destruction, it has been revealed.
Barron Trump has been named as Iran’s new Supreme Leader after Donald Trump confirmed he would be involved in selecting the country’s new head of state.
Following their proposed acquisition of Warner Bros., Paramount Skydance has announced they’re remaking Sinners with an all-white cast.
Keir Starmer has been pictured with a huge cigar and Homburg hat after Donald Trump compared him unfavourably to Winston Churchill.
Despite the White House claiming a rash on Donald Trump’s neck was caused by a ‘preventative skin treatment’, it has now been revealed the red mark is actually a love-bite from Secretary of War Pete Hegseth.
In a stroke of genius, US President Donald Trump admitted he is planning to stop bombing Iran and then immediately claim credit for ending his ninth war.
Keir Starmer got a massive bollocking from his mum today after fresh fears the UK could join the US-Israeli conflict with Iran.
Holidaymakers in Dubai are absolutely furious today after the US-Israeli conflict with Iran meant they had to crop debris out of their pristine selfies.
Reform voters have blamed their party’s loss in the Gorton and Denton by-election on an administrative error, after accidentally ticking Monster Raving Loony Party on the ballot paper.
US Congress members are begging Donald Trump to wrap it up as the President’s State of the Union speech enters its third day.
US health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr has continued his crusade to Make America Healthy Again by introduced a mandatory ‘five second rule’ for food dropped on the floor.
A Basingstoke man have been left absolutely furious after discovering the BAFTA Award for Best Film Not in the English Language has been awarded to a film where hardly anyone speaks English.
Donald Trump has instructed Keir Starmer not to hand over Andy Garcia to Mauritius, after getting the actor mixed up with the Diego Garcia military base.
King Charles has reportedly switched his phone on silent amid fears he might get a call from Andrew asking his big brother for help.
Nigel Farage and Sir Rod Stewart have followed in the footsteps of Robert F. Kennedy Jr and Kid Rock, by going shirtless in a brand new workout video.
The public have finally been given a glimpse of their alternative government after C̶o̶n̶s̶e̶r̶v̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶P̶a̶r̶t̶y̶ Reform UK announced its first ‘shadow cabinet’ should they win the next general election.
The nation is still pretending to enjoy putting lemon juice and sugar on their pancakes, a new poll has revealed.
The UK’s witness protection programme has admitted it’s struggling to think of a new identity for Tommy Robinson as he’s already used every other name in existence.
Ghislaine Maxwell has been pardoned by the same White House staffer who posted the racist Obama video, after the Trump administration confirmed the president never does his own pardoning.
Sir Jim Ratcliffe has accused immigrants of costing the UK too much money, despite saving himself billions in tax by moving to Monaco.
Nigel Farage has once again been forced to clarify it was actually his partner who paid for the Clacton home he won’t be working from.
Health Secretary Wes Streeting has come out in full support of Prime Minister Keir Starmer, despite being spotted asking B&Q staff which carpet would look best in 10 Downing Street.
Following a frosty reception at the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, things got even worse for US Vice President JD Vance when he was loudly booed by his own wife and kids.
The Prime Minister’s chief of staff Morgan McSweeney has advised Keir Starmer to appoint Gary Glitter as the new US ambassador, after his vetting process came back completely clean.
The world’s richest man Elon Musk has managed to evade questions surrounding his relationship with paedophile Jeffrey Epstein by hiding in an empty screening of the new ‘Melania’ documentary.
Nigel Farage has denied Reform UK is becoming a carbon copy of the Conservative Party, though admitted it was perhaps the wrong day to cosplay as Margaret Thatcher.
The boring man living at 10 Downing Street is terrified of being replaced by a slightly less boring man, it’s been revealed.
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