‘Strait of Hormuz’ to be renamed ‘Strait of America’

The United States government have announced that the ‘Strait of Hormuz’ is to be renamed the ‘Strait of America’.

It comes after Iran effectively shut off access to the strait following the start of the US-Israeli attacks, though the US now believes renaming the water body as the ‘Strait of America’ would allow oil and gas to flow once again. 

“The Strait of America is officially open,” said President Trump, updating the press in the White House. 

“We’re gonna have so much oil, folks. So much gas. You’ve never seen so much gas in your life. The prices are coming down, everybody’s saying it. It’s our strait. We own it. What a beauty. The hottest strait in the world right now.

“Iran was deploying mines in the strait. They’re American mines now. Tremendous mines. Probably the greatest mines known to man. It’s powerful stuff. Those mines could kill alotta people. Alotta bad people. Nasty people. But they’re our mines now. They’re the Mines of America. 

“We’re renaming the Middle East next. There’s alotta name suggestions. Alotta great ideas. Everyone knows I’m a proud New Yorker. Maybe we could call it the Middle East Side. We haven’t decided yet. But it’s gonna be so great. So huge.

“We’re winning so big.”