Elon Musk avoids Epstein questions by hiding in empty ‘Melania’ screening

The world’s richest man Elon Musk has managed to evade questions surrounding his relationship with paedophile Jeffrey Epstein by hiding in an empty screening of the new ‘Melania’ documentary.

Recently released emails show Musk essentially begging to visit Epstein’s island, though journalists wanting to question the Tesla CEO will now have to search every empty ‘Melania’ screening in the world to find him.

“I really am a genius,” said Musk, digging into his popcorn.

“No one will ever find me here. That’s for sure. Honestly, this is like a safe haven for dodgy blokes. I saw Bill Gates going into Screen 2, Richard Branson going into Screen 5 and Bill Clinton going into Screen 11. I actually think Clinton went to see Zootopia 2 by accident, but I’m sure he’ll eventually figure it out.

“What a stroke of luck they released this documentary on the same weekend as the new Epstein files were being released.

“It’s almost like Donald knew what was in there and wanted to give everyone a chance to wait it out. Perhaps I underestimated him. Also, it really isn’t as bad as the critics say. It’s funny, heart-warming, charming and…and…

“You know what? I can’t do this anymore. It’s fucking painful. I’d rather they send me to the nonce prison than watch another second of this documentary.

“Congratulations! You win, Epstein!”