Simon Williams, a town councillor at Curry Mallet in Somerset, has just prefaced his latest inane observation in the middle of a debate on a planning application with ‘Maybe I’m being thick, but…’, it has emerged.
The current move to ‘deplastify’ daily life because a weird combination of David Attenborough and the Daily Mail told us to is a load of old bollocks, it has emerged.
Your wife has definitely not been going on and on at you for the past 20 minutes while trapped in an infinite loop of subordinate clauses, it has emerged.
A drinks reception sponsored by the Department for Exiting the European Union at the Southwark Brewing Company in South London last night was not entirely successful, government sources admitted.
Britain would immediately spiral into a nightmarish dystopia straight out of Mad Max if Waitrose were to stop its daily free coffee offer, it has emerged.
Britain’s satirical news writers are increasingly complaining of job dissatisfaction in the wake of the latest clusterfuck resignation scandal in Theresa May’s government.
Britain’s children have been alarmed by repeated warnings that a suspiciously cheery old, bearded man in fancy dress is coming to their town and that they will have to be nice to him if they want any presents.
Britain is still labouring under the misapprehension that it can do just fine in the modern world despite ceasing to function under levels of snow that would pass unnoticed in most of Europe, it has emerged.
White supremacists are generally the kind of white people least likely to convince anyone of their supposed superiority, it has emerged.
Politicians from the Leave campaign have issued a clarification statement about an apparent paradox in their campaign over having their cake and eating it.
Leaving the EU is all about British sovereignty and mere economics should have nothing to do with it, according to various elderly UKIP supporters living off final salary pensions in large houses in the Home Counties.
That ice cream van that is sitting outside your front window with the irritating Colonel Bogey tune playing around the clock can go and do one; it has emerged.
Experts claim the British electorate is unlikely to give two shits about the Conservatives cheating over expenses during the 2015 general election when it wasn’t remotely bothered that the Prime Minister fucked a dead pig.
Simon Williams, a town councillor at Curry Mallet in Somerset, has just prefaced his latest inane observation in the middle of a debate on a planning application with ‘Maybe I’m being thick, but…’, it has emerged.
Jeremy Kyle, a 51-year-old TV presenter, has been publicly shamed after appearing on an episode of The Jeremy Kyle Show.
Borderline simpletons who voted to leave the EU are beginning to have second thoughts after failing to find Pot Noodles on the shelves at their local Tesco, it has emerged.
Borderline simpletons across Britain are readying themselves to get very angry when Britain exits or fails to exit the EU, as the outcome will definitely be undemocratic and in no way their fault.
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