We meant we’ll have our cake and then eat yours, say Brexiters

author avatar by 6 years ago

Politicians from the Leave campaign have issued a clarification statement about an apparent paradox in their campaign over having their cake and eating it.

It now emerges that the ‘cake’ they were referring to was actually two cakes, which originally belonged to different people.

“We used the term ‘have our cake and eat it’ to imply that we could have all the good things about being in the EU but none of the bad things,” explained David Davis.

“Of course even Liam Fox is bright enough to be aware that once you have consumed something you can’t have it again.

“Except Adam Werritty’s cock, of course. Oh come on now Liam, sit down, I was just joking…

“Crikes,” added Boris Johnson. “Being Foreign Secretary is a bit like having a scrummy piece of chocolate cake in the dorm at the midnight, every single day. I’m not going to do that only once, so I’m having that and then I’m eating yours, if you don’t mind awfully.

“Same principle with your wife, while I’m on. And what a fine filly she is. Yikes!”

Some Leave voters are now complaining that they have been misled. However, Simon Williams, Emeritus Professor of the Bleedin’ Obvious at Oxford University, said, “Hell-o-O? This is the Tories we are talking about.

“They’ve been nicking everyone else’s cake and acting like it was theirs for the last 350 years.’