‘Can’t you make it a bit harder for us?’ ask satirists

author avatar by 6 years ago

Britain’s satirical news writers are increasingly complaining of job dissatisfaction in the wake of the latest clusterfuck resignation scandal in Theresa May’s government.

“It’s just too easy these days,” said Simon Williams, a generic male character who writes satire for several satirical news websites.

“I was proud of my work under the Brown government. You had to really graft to find anything funny about Alistair Darling.

“But I stuck at it and really enjoyed the Cameron years, even if the bit about fucking a dead pig encouraged me to get lazy.

“Brexit was a God-send and I even managed to establish Nigel Walker, the cunt who sacked me from my last job, as the go-to ignorant gobby man stereotype.

“But today? I mean, the deputy Prime Minister – who was one of the relatively sane ones – downloads thousands of porn images onto a work computer that only he had access to, makes pervy comments to a friend’s daughter for wearing a corset, then denies it ever happened while ‘sort of’ admitting it and having to resign.

“The punchline was going to be that David Frigging Davies was going to resign too in protest or because he’s realised that Brexit is a complete pile of bollocks and wants Gove to be the fall guy, only now he isn’t going to because of course he isn’t.

“You do realise that all of that is true, don’t you?

“What next? Theresa May gets melted down for scrap and is replaced by Boris, who has to bluff his way through when he’s caught banging Ruth Davidson in the understairs cupboard at Number Ten during the third Brexit referendum campaign in 2021?