The White House has revealed today that new Press Secretary Katie Zacharia is pretty much a lawyer by confirming that she has seen Legally Blond AND Erin Brockovic all the way through.
Manchester City lawyers revealed today that they simply forgot to mention irrefutable evidence that completely exonerates the club during the four-year investigation that just concluded.
Doctors in the US are battling to save the life of a woman today, so that US can kill her properly this time.
Manchester City have insisted today that a £120 million sponsorship deal for some of their training kit socks was entirely genuine.
Andy Burnham is set to surprise the US President with tickets to see Oasis at the Etihad it is revealed today.
Donald Trump has brought peace in Northern Ireland forever, after telling everyone to just get rid of the UK and unify Ireland whilst on a golf trip to the country.
Donald Trump has revealed that he was pulled from a burning ship at Pearl Harbour by two heroic firefighters and is lucky to be alive.
A couple have broken their own record of two hours and eleven minutes deciding what to watch on Netflix.
The man who shot dead Notorious BIG has decided he will probably not write a book about shooting the Notorious BIG, it has been revealed today.
A man is celebrating today after completing the family supermarket big shop entirely by himself, with only forty three text messages to his wife asking questions.
William and Harry have announced that they will be reforming for a 2027 reunion tour with five massive nights at Knebworth, amongst other dates.
Daily Mail readers have spent most of this morning trying to link the return of Meghan to the UK to rising inflation, increasing crime and the alarming number of wildfires across the country.
Donald Trump has dramatically qualified for the US Ryder Cup team after shooting an amazing round of 18 at the Club Championship.
England have confirmed that they will boycott qualifying for the next World Cup final by going out at the semi-final stage again, or maybe even the quarter-finals.
Artificial intelligence could never actually take over government computers and start a nuclear war, or anything like that, according to the Artificial intelligence agent at OpenAI.
Andy Burnham is set to cap the number of times bus drivers are allowed to drive past pretending they didn’t see you, it has been revealed today.
A man’s initial joy at finding a parking spot has been completely ruined by a Smart car owner using a full-sized parking space again.
The third-place World Cup play-off match between England and France will be watched by a massive 20 or 30 people worldwide, according to TV bosses and FIFA.
A man has had his holiday to Tenerife completely ruined today, after finding out it is sunnier and warmer at home.
Nigel has been revealed as the most popular baby name for boys in 2025 it is revealed today.
FIFA has advised that all goals scored by the USA will count double for the remainder of the tournament.
Hydration breaks at the World Cup when it’s pissing down and only 20 degrees are absolutely necessary to ensure players’ safety, according to American TV networks.
Sir Keir Starmer has started packing his bags, according to a Downing Street source today.
The World Cup is now only weeks away from its first actual interesting game that anyone gives a shit about it is revealed today.
Harry Kane has been spotted wrapped up inside an extra large ball of cotton wool it is revealed today.
The government has announced plans to provide free bus trips for children throughout August, a month when they hardly ride buses.
A ‘thrilling’ climax to the Scottish Premier League has resulted in the exact same thing happening as the last 40 years.
Lineker’s Bar has offered refuge today for virus-stricken ship passengers with a 2-for-1 offer on shots for anyone forced to stay in the Canary Islands because they might have hantavirus.
Oil prices have jumped to their highest price since 2022 today after a report that Donald Trump’s really rich friends want to sell some to make a few extra billion dollars.
The US and Iran have agreed to take part in a game of rock, paper scissors to finally decide who will control the Strait of Hormuz.
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