Oil price jumps after report Trump’s friends want to make a few extra billion

Oil prices have jumped to their highest price since 2022 today after a report that Donald Trump’s really rich friends want to sell some to make a few extra billion dollars.

With news emerging earlier that oil prices have risen to $122 a barrel, further news has now emerged that lots of Donald Trump’s friends are about to make more obscene amounts of money as a result of this, in a purely coincidental situation. 

Analyst Simon Williams confirmed, “It’s really just an uncanny coincidence.

“We can confirm that oil prices are set to rise dramatically over the next few hours because Donald Trump’s friends feel like making a couple of billion dollars.

“So the President is likely to say a few inflammatory things about the war in Iran, and maybe put a few crazy social media posts out there just to bump the price up, so his pals can all cash in.

“Then he might start saying the war is almost over and everyone is friends again, so the price will come back down, and his pals can make even more money by betting that this is what’s going to happen. 

“It’s great for them, because as a friend of Donald Trump, you get to make a lot of money when the price goes up, and when it goes down.

“Obviously there are quite a few people dying as a result of all of this, but like I said, they are making lots of money, so I think it’s okay.

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