Oil companies successfully reduce time between oil price rise and petrol price rise to six nanoseconds

Petrol companies have wasted no time whatsoever in passing on a rise in the price of oil.

With the RAC telling consumers that cheap petrol is a thing of the past after oil prices passed $120 a barrel, consumers told the RAC they already knew that.

A spokesperson for the Association of Petrol Forecourts told us, “When oil prices go up, so must the price of petrol, but some lucky consumers are still able to exploit that microscopic time lag between oil price and petrol price rises.

“However, thanks to our investment in new experimental quantum computing technology, we have reduced that lag to just six nanoseconds – though we are still ultimately losing money in that time, which is a concern amongst shareholders.

“In an ideal world we’d be able to predict oil price rises and just put the price up in advance – maybe one day we will achieve that dream.”

The spokesperson went on to admit that they are struggling to find new ways to reduce the time between falling oil prices and prices coming down at the pumps.

“We had hoped as an industry to get that time down from two months so slightly under two months.

“We’ve put our very best people on it, but they’ve come up short, unfortunately.

“We’ll keep looking though.

“Definitely.”

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