US and Iran to decide who controls Strait of Hormuz with game of rock paper scissors

The US and Iran have agreed to take part in a game of rock, paper scissors to finally decide who will control the Strait of Hormuz. 

With news emerging last night of yet another stand off in the ongoing war between the two countries,  further promising news has now emerged that both parties have now agreed a best-of-three rock paper scissors game to finally decide on a winner. 

A spokesperson for the US government confirmed “It’s going to be pretty exciting.

“We can confirm that the President has now agreed to a one off game of rock paper scissors to decide the outcome of the war. 

“Best of three though,  obviously. 

“With the winner gaining control over the Strait of Hormuz and being declared the winners.  

“It’s pretty much the only way we are going to get this war over with, as it’s just dragging on now. 

“We’re thinking of sending JD Vance to take part in the game,  he’s really good at it, as he used to play at high school.”

Asked if the US will abide by the result is they lose and concede all power and control to Iran including control of all the oil we were told, “We might just ask for best of five first, and if we lose that just send me bombs.”

Let’s settle this like men, get the Rock, Paper Scissors T-shirt here!

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