FIFA confirm USA goals to count double for remainder of World Cup tournament

FIFA has advised that all goals scored by the USA will count double for the remainder of the tournament.

With news emerging yesterday that American striker Folarin Balogun’s one-match ban has been suspended by FIFA because Donald Trump asked them to, further news has now emerged that every goal scored by the Americans for the remainder of the tournament will now count as two, and they can have two goalkeepers in goal.

A spokesperson for FIFA confirmed, “It’s totally fair.

“We can confirm that every goal scored by the US team for the rest of the World Cup will count as two goals, because we think that is the right thing to do, given the circumstances. 

“It has nothing to do with Donald Trump calling us and telling us that’s what we have to do. 

“Like making each game have four quarters so that they can fit more adverts in.

“It just seems like a really fair thing to do in order to make the game more even for everyone, and it’s definitely a decision we made by ourselves, with no outside input from anyone. Honest.”

Asked if there are any other rule changes that may affect the US team, we were told, “Yes, they can have two goalkeepers too, and maybe an extra player if they feel like they need one.”