Hydration breaks when it’s pissing down absolutely necessary for player safety, insist American TV networks 

Hydration breaks at the World Cup when it’s pissing down and only 20 degrees are absolutely necessary to ensure players’ safety, according to American TV networks. 

With every game at this year’s world cup stopping for hydration breaks regardless of the weather, player safety has been cited as the main reason for the breaks, according to TV networks who are definitely not making hundreds of millions from advertising during those breaks. 

A spokesperson for Fox Sports, sitting on a pile of cash, confirmed, “It’s all about player safety.  Honest!

“The hydration breaks are absolutely necessary for the safety of the players and nothing to do with us wanting to cram as many adverts as we possibly can down everyone’s throats at every conceivable moment. 

“It’s all about trying to make sure the players don’t overheat, you know, when it’s 20 degrees Celsius and raining. 

“And we’re not trying to make the game have four quarters like American Football just so we can try to sell you a car, or a soda, or an investment product, honest. “

Asked if they think some of the breaks could be cancelled if the temperature drops and it’s raining like an October fixture in Wigan, we were told, “No, we’ve already sold the advertising space, sorry.”  

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