The seemingly ancient Headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Albus Dumbledore – known for his eccentric speeches – has shocked even his most fervent admirers after his most recent gaffe had them questioning if it might be time for him to hang up his wand.
Parents across Britain’s capital have taken to blaming Sadiq Khan for the poor behaviour of their children, according to reports this morning.
In the midde of what could best be described as ‘a tumultuous period’, Prime Minister Boris Johnson is desperately hoping Meghan Markle does something – absolutely anything – soon, in order to take some heat away from him for a few days.
Lord Voldemort, once known as little Tom Riddle from the orphanage who liked to torture kids, has made a public statement claiming to love all Muggles, despite a long history of hate crimes against them.
Universal Studios has previously achieved the unthinkable, such as bringing dinosaurs to life on screen, making more Fast and Furious movies than there are cars in the world, and now, creating a trailer for Cats – the first-ever cat video to be hated by the internet.
Frank Lampard has today started a new temporary job on the Fulham road working for Chelsea football club.
Parents across Britain’s capital have taken to blaming Sadiq Khan for their children’s poor behaviour, according to reports this morning.
Representatives of the RSPCA have stated that cat owner Erwin Schrödinger is both a caring cat-lover and a cruel cat-hater simultaneously.
Following the terrible blaze at Notre Dame Cathedral this week, some Catholics have pointed out that God must be real because a golden Crucifix above the altar survived the inferno.
According to sources on the ground in Westeros, Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, etc, etc, is considering a dragon-based PR stunt to convince Westerosi Lords to join her cause.