Monday 1 July 2019 by Danny Walsh

London parents blaming Sadiq Khan for toddlers pooing on the kitchen floor


Sadiq Khan and london's poo-ey kitchen floors

Parents across Britain’s capital have taken to blaming Sadiq Khan for the poor behaviour of their children, according to reports this morning.

“My little boy, Fyler-Rilee, did a massive turd on the floor, and Sadiq Khan did absolutely nothing about it. I am outraged,” claimed Abbie, a 27-year-old parent from West Ealing.

“What is the Mayor doing about kids pooing on floors? The government may be to blame for the rise in nappy prices, and cutting of nappy availability, but Mr Khan has done nothing to set up poop nets within the homes of Londoners,” said Simon Williams, an angry parent of two from Uxbridge.

He went on, “Sadiq Khan has led this city down the shitter, unlike a large number of my child’s turds which seem to stubbornly stay out of the toilet.

“He is supposed to be looking after the citizens of our nation’s capital, and yet here I am cleaning smeared shit from between the kitchen floor tiles. It’s almost like he wants the terrorists to win.

Parents are clearly incensed by Mr Khan’s lack of action in this case, but some question the parents themselves.

“What are these people doing? Get your kid on the toilet when you smell sh*t, simple as that. Stop blaming everyone else,” suggested a lady in Kensington, who wished to remain anonymous.

“Everyone knows the real reason your children are shitting on the floor is Brexit. The only way to stop it happening is to ensure we have a people’s vote and the nation changes its mind to Remain.  Obviously.”

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