Expensive and time-consuming independent inquiries are to be abolished and replaced by asking the Prime Minister to adjudicate, with his heavily biased opinions and stupid hair.
A woman well into her second bottle of fizzy wine can read you like a fucking book, thank you very much.
Drivers of high powered Subaru vehicles harbour deep feelings of insecurity, lack confidence and secretly listen to Enya when no one is around, according to new research.
Kate Bush would make a magnificent queen for the United Kingdom, Donald Trump has suggested.
A Leeds man remains deeply ashamed after buying a bottle of rosé by mistake in a dimly lit off-licence 12 years ago.
Swansea City are nailed on favourites to be crowned Premier League champions in 2017, it has emerged.
Companies across the UK are using mysterious and dramatic codenames to describe eye-wateringly dull pieces of work, it has emerged.
Returning to the office after a week off is like having complex dental surgery with no anaesthetic, a survey suggests.
UKIP are to produce a manifesto consisting solely of right-wing emoticons, it has emerged.
The food critics on BBC MasterChef are busy rehearsing new ways to show abject disgust for the food they’ll be served in this year’s final.
National Express are to unveil a high-speed link that could see its coaches travel from Leeds to London in as little as 36 hours.
A spectacular new record has been set for the longest overtaking manoeuvre ever performed by a lorry on a UK dual carriageway.
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